Remnants
by Jest'lyn Tal
Summary: KOTOR: Sequal to Things Left Behind - When Revan disappears from the Temple, the worst is assumed. Carth must track down the Jedi he felt so strongly for, and in doing so come face to face with some harsh realities about himself and the past years.
1. Prelude

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Remnants - Prolog: In the Garden  
  
It was warm. The air was a mixture of freshly cut grass and sweet flowers. Nearby a fountain cascaded water in an endless act of giving. Life to pour itself into a white marble basin, never reaching fulfillment but forever trapped in the moment of release. The sky was blue, dotted with clouds that were appropriately fluffy and gave plenty of room for imagination to categorize them. This one was a speeder, that one was a woman brushing her hair . . .  
  
And it was nearly silent. A few treasured birds chirped, the water babbled, but there was no wind to ruffle the grass nor clothing.  
  
The temple walls were still visible, just beyond a few of the trees. The garden was protected, sacrosanct, but the walls were still there. Just as the scent of industrialization, the slight hint of burnt ozone, of fuel spent and lingering, could not be totally hidden. Others walked, softly talking about deep things or politics unfolding. Robes rustled, friends smiled, jokes were given and laughed about.  
  
In more secretive places, where trees bent to conceal and decorative walls gave sanctuary, others sat. Quiet, passive, feeling and reflecting, their countenances were as still as stone and just as peaceful. Air was inhaled, savored, taken in and revered, and then exhaled. Life was felt and it swallowed them whole with its quiet power.  
  
Children ran, but only a very few, too young and too filled with wonder yet to control themselves. They animatedly spoke, leapt, mock fought and shared both tears and ambitions without restraint. They'd learn soon.  
  
And she stood among them all. Her hand rested on the fountain, the prickling of water droplets hitting the fine hairs on her arm preternaturally sharp. It would not be long before she was required indoors again. Master Donhal would wish to have her practice her meditation, to watch in order to give feedback and gently instruct her in what she was doing wrong.  
  
It never stopped.  
  
She swallowed and began to walk, slowly. Grass bent and broke under her feet. She passed by the Jedi, speaking to each other and smiling. They glanced her way, nodded, but did not speak to her. A young boy, hair cut short and long braid proclaiming his rank even as hers did, gleefully swung a stick in practice. He stopped as she came into her view and stared.  
  
Peace and tranquility skittered along the air. But she could not help but smell the city outside the walls, hear the laughter of the children that they quickly repressed as being inappropriate for this solemn place of reflection, and remember, ever so faintly, the taste of Juhiban rum.  
  
She walked, pace sedate and aristocratic, aloof and controlled, and wondered exactly how long it was going to take her to go mad.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Akasha15 - *glazed look* I will continue this someday. *grins* Couldn't hold out against the chocolate! And, honestly, can't quite leave it this way. After all, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Well. After much misunderstanding, torment, torture, well done angst and smooching.  
  
AnimeNinja - I'd really been trying to stay away from having Revan's other name given :P Simply cause I think it puts it too much in the realm of the game that I played, and not the story we know. Ya know? But. there's no way Carth wouldn't make that gesture. So, its done. And, don't worry. It can't rain all the time.  
  
Nima Onasi - Oh, no! Punishment wasn't the idea. But I'm glad you found it interesting. By the way, loving the take on An Admiral's Tale.. Keep up the writing! 


	2. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - Chapter 1  
  
"Damn, I love this planet."  
  
It was a hip thrust from a particularly well-endowed dancing girl that prompted the awed statement from the dark haired republic soldier. She was on an elevated stage, making good use of a pole and apparently enjoying herself along with two other equally talented women. While he continued to stare in rapt attention at the assets that made this planet so interesting, his partner rolled his eyes.  
  
"Jehs, just ten minutes ago you were complaining about the deployment to this sector," Bali said critically.  
  
"Yeah. And ten minutes ago, before they wanted into the room, it was a boring scum hole." Jehs grinned, eyes lingering on the girls. "Now, it's getting interesting."  
  
He added his holler of encouragement to those being offered by the others in the room.  
  
The bar was very full. It'd been a long time since the fleet had given permission to go planet side. Sith and rumors of Sith still abounded and while there was no doubt in the minds of the Republic that the last vestiges of those invaders and mutineers would be dealt with, there was the harsh reality that true allegiances were never easy to guess. Several high ranking Sith had been captured and were in the process of being imprisoned or executed. However, what about the paper pushers? The lowly desk clerks on the Sith ships?  
  
While the seemingly repentant would be released, eventually, there were also the openly combative that needed to be eliminated. Petty squabbles among the remaining Sith for power made them easy, but numerous, targets. The Indomitable was a smaller ship, assigned to the main battle group. And now that there had finally come a slight lull in the pace, they'd made port for the simple purpose of letting off a little steam. They only had a few days, and they were going to make the most of it.  
  
"Like you've got a chance." Bali chuckled. He too eyed the girls however. When the blonde winked back in their direction he straightened, tugging on his civilian shirt and grinning. His competition was fierce. If the woman had been interested in a military man, she had a roomful to choose from. Without even trying Jehs could spot ten of their crew also drinking here.  
  
"Better one than you, limp di- Oh, hey. Look, man." Jehs elbowed Bali and nodded to the corner. Bali looked reluctantly then snorted.  
  
"What? Like he hasn't got a right to be here to?"  
  
"Not the point." Jehs snapped, "Shit, this isn't exactly an officer's club." He licks his lips, "You don't think. that he's here to keep an eye on us, do you?"  
  
Bali watched the man in the corner lift his glass and drink, lips set in a straight line.  
  
"No, Jehs. I don't think he's giving a damn about us at all right now."  
  
"Oh. Good."  
  
Commander Carth Onasi of the Indomitable took a drink. The taste of alcohol was blunt, unmasked by mixing, powders, or other adulterating sweetness designed to make the drink something other than what it was. The bar was loud and while part of him was grateful for it, part of him was wishing he was back on his ship.  
  
His ship. Stern lips lifted in a faint smile that almost instantly disappeared.  
  
His ship with its reputation for success and seemingly charmed ability to scout out the enemy strong holds, reporting back for the big guns to come in and wipe them clean - his ship and his crew.  
  
They seemed almost painfully young to him at times. Dark eyes lifted to the exuberant group expressing admiration for the entertainment of the ladies. He smirked and shook his head. He didn't know what was sadder. That those boys were drowning in single minded compulsion to get laid, or that he wasn't.  
  
He took another drink.  
  
It had been a long time since he'd been in a similar position - that being of relaxing at a bar with his shipmates. The men that he'd served with then were long gone, however. Dead, retired, fallen off the face of the universe, or Sith.  
  
He watched his men, expression sobering again. There wasn't anything he could do to change the past. He knew that, and the cross had grown more comfortable to bear over time. Perhaps only because he knew that he could certainly have an effect now. And if he had his way, those young idiots trying to convince that blonde to take off her top, or trying to drink each other under the table, or simply telling grossly inflated stories to embarrass each other, would be able to remain young idiots.  
  
He finished his drink and set it down. The waitress was surprisingly quick. She walked over, cheeks a bit red and her smile wide. "Can I get you something else, darling?" She asked. "Perhaps something a bit more exotic this time?"  
  
Carth stood up and shook his head, placing a few credits on the table. "Thanks, but no thanks." He smiled back to her, and if he noticed how the blush increased, he didn't show it. "Got too much to do tonight."  
  
He left the bar quietly and caught the first transport back to the ship. 


	3. Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Remnants - Chapter 2  
  
Carth walked through the nearly deserted corridors of his ship, headed towards the bridge. Metal floors echoed his footsteps and the engines hummed their familiar lullaby of reassurance, life support systems crooning a soft counterpoint.  
  
He opened the door to the bridge and walked inside. It was quiet, all except for the voice of the communications officer, a new crewmember by the name of Jaia.  
  
"Civilian Freighter Albin, your course is acknowledged.."  
  
"Commander!" Preston, an almost frightening match to the metal image of a First Officer looked over, "I thought you were going planet side."  
  
"I did. Nice little planet." Carth responded. Preston rose from the command chair wordlessly. Carth shook his head in negation but the man continued to stand.  
  
"So we've been told." Preston said, "Though there was some complaining about a lack of souvenirs to buy."  
  
Carth chuckled. The pilot looked over, curious for anything to lighten up the time of this dead watch.  
  
"I guess they'll just have to make due, won't they?" Carth said. "So all quiet?"  
  
".please acknowledge standard safe distance of.."  
  
Preston nodded, "Yeah. You've got the latest traffic waiting for you whenever you want it."  
  
Carth suppressed a sigh. Plowing through all of the messages, announcements, bureaucracy changes and roster updates that could be created in the simple span of a day, was not his idea of a good time. "Right. Well, I'd best get at it. Make sure med-bay is ready for the hang-overs and bruises."  
  
"Civilian Freighter Albin, you are off course. Do not attempt to intercept or close with us. Acknowledge and return to previous!"  
  
Carth's gaze snapped to the comm. and he strode over.  
  
Preston thumbed for internal communications, "Bridge to Turrets 1-2, tracking incoming vessel of unknown intent on course 244 mark 23."  
  
"We got 'em, Sir. . . awaiting order to fire."  
  
"They aren't responding," Jaia reported to Carth. "They're just heading towards us."  
  
"Indent shows civilian freighter out of Alderaan. Now closing to 2,000. no decrease in speed." The pilot called.  
  
"If they close within 1,000, we fire." Carth said, "Let's get this up on screen."  
  
"Civilian Freighter, be advised! If you do not change course we will fire."  
  
The freighter was an old affair, patched and cobbled together. Its engines glowed brightly, however, and it grew steadily larger in the screen.  
  
"Republic ship! Don't fire!" The panicked voice came through the speakers, piped through the system, "We've temporarily lost guidance. Our engineer is working on it, easy fix. Repeat, don't fire!"  
  
"Range?" Carth asked.  
  
"1,600."  
  
The Commander moved to his chair and the console there, "Get me the details on the ship. mass, commission date, crew complement, and whatever we're picking up on scans."  
  
"Aye, Sir."  
  
"1,400."  
  
".Repeat, don't fire!"  
  
"Sir?" The communication's officer seemed at a loss.  
  
"Tell them we're thinking about it." Carth snapped back. He scanned the information being dumped to his console quickly.  
  
"1,200."  
  
"Sir, I can't find a record of a parent company or an inspection for their cargo."  
  
"1,010."  
  
"Fire." Carth ordered flatly.  
  
"All batteries, fire." Preston snapped as he thumbed the comm.  
  
Light pulsed from the Republic ship and shredded metal. There was a buzz from the comm., a brief shout that was cut short by static. With almost frightening speed, the Freighter Albin listed, and then suddenly exploded, the burst of fire burning out in a huge spray. The shock wave hit the Indomitable and shook her. Carth grabbed for the back of his chair and managed to stay upright. Preston stumbled, but was quickly back on his feet.  
  
"What the -?" he said, eyes widening.  
  
"Veer us off. Let's avoid whatever debris we can." Carth said shortly. The pilot stared at him, eyes wide.  
  
"Ahh. . . Aye sir." The ship rolled gracefully away from the wreck.  
  
Carth nodded, "I want a group on the secondary turrets and a full history on that ship." He turned to leave.  
  
"Sir, don't you want to inform the General about this. incident?" Jaia's eyes were flint.  
  
Carth turned and gave her an even look, "Very well. Inform the General that we've just blown up a Sith ship of unknown intent and origin and the full report will follow shortly."  
  
Flint bent enough to display incredulity, "You. Sir, with all due respect, you don't know who they were. It was a freighter and."  
  
Carth simply turned and continued out the door.  
  
Preston gave the communications officer a thin smile, "No freighter has any right carrying anything that would create an explosion that large. Not even by half."  
  
Jaia did not seem to be totally reassured.  
  
No one else seemed to care.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hey, all! Sorry I hadn't been able to respond to reviews on the last chapters. No access to them :P But /thank you!/ all. I'm going ahead with this, trying to make it a bit less of a 'gimmie' fiction. I'll admit, I'm trying to live up to a work I'm beta-ing at the moment. *clears throat* Please feel free to ignore this if it is considered rude - However, if anyone is looking for a good KOTOR read? May I humbly advise Dawn's Darkness by Slyden Marcus. First bit is rather slow. (I'm thinking of recommending that he consolidate the first bits) but chapter 2? *grins* I'm waiting for the next bit, certainly! Now, enough of that.  
  
Schally - Glad to give you a decent surprise. Postings for this may be slower because I'm trying to actually build a more substancial plot than just a 'This happened'. But.there should be more coming :)  
  
Akasha15 - Thanks! I figure that he's got to be beyond the youthful male stage and probably taking a bit of a fatherly view. The boy certainly don't look it, but he's supposed to be nearing 40. Makes you wonder how old Revan is supposed to be. And while the Force is strong, College Counselers are so Darkside that no single being can move them. Except perhaps a Dean. And. about Revan reverting.? *low whistle and eye shifts*  
  
Amy - I'm glad you like the stories! And, while formatting here is sometimes a challenge, I'm not willing to risk turning readers off by weird stuff. You' 


	4. Chapter 3

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Remnants - Chapter 3  
  
Word spread quickly. By the time Carth had reached the mess decks, cutting his way through to his quarters, the crew that stood to the side to let him pass were quieter. They hadn't quite lost their excitement. One ship or not, they were still at port. But they'd been reminded of matters, and it showed.  
  
He didn't doubt his actions. Though there was little doubt that Officer Jaia did. He wondered briefly what she was thinking. Most likely, at first, thinking of innocent men and women. Then, by now, perhaps entertaining that perhaps they'd not been entirely innocent, but merely Smugglers with horrible luck. . .  
  
Carth shut the door to his quarters even as he shut the door on those thoughts.  
  
At worst case then, not Sith but not innocent. Even if that was true, they should have known not to get so close to a war ship. Jaia could angst all she wanted, Carth had no second thoughts and no regrets.  
  
Not about his actions tonight at least.  
  
He sat down at his desk and moved to bring up the comm. system. The holo- interface would take a few moments to establish a connection with the admiral, but he felt that a potential influx of suicidal Sith was worth a conversation, and not simply a memo.  
  
His hand swept to the side and encountered nothing on his desk. Not a single photo adorned it. Early on he'd experimented with that. At first a photo of his wife and son. That only lasted a day or two as his dreams turned to a ten year old boy with eyes so very much like his own being shot out over and over again. So he'd put up one of his wife only.  
  
And that was good for a while. The grief was so familiar to him that he welcomed it. But somehow it didn't feel. complete. It felt right on the alter of his soul, a penance and a reminder. But while it belonged, it was no longer sufficient. So he pulled up another photo to join it.  
  
It was a group shot. A publicity photo gone horribly awry. Mission grinned back at the camera, leaning against an eye-rolling Zalbaar almost to the point of falling over. Jolee was . well. There was no other word for it. He was pouting. Carth supposed the old man would have preferred that it be referred to as grumping, or something more dignified. But the photo was merciless. It was a pout.  
  
HK gleamed, turning to speak to an older official whose shocked expression was barely visible in the fringes. Canderous was smirking at Bastila, who was looking in martyred annoyance at the mugging that Mission was indulging in. Juhani was looking fiercely triumphant, perhaps the only heroic figure in the group. Well, besides T3. Revan was laughing, still wearing the black as opposed to the armor he'd gotten used to seeing her in. She'd never felt right in the Jedi robes, though Bastila had time and again pointed out that she was limiting her natural abilities with the armor, not actually helping. She'd finally listened to the other Jedi right before that last battle and had grabbed the closest non-restrictive clothing. It was Sith, and for some reason, she'd worn it for days..  
  
That photo hadn't lasted longer than a few days either.  
  
Carth pulled up the traffic that had been forwarded to his system while he waited. He scanned through the announcements briefly. There was one from Bastila, marked urgent. His brows rose. That was strange. Not that he and Bastila weren't in contact. He had to admit that the dark haired Jedi was someone whom, despite her occasional aloof nature, he'd come to respect and like. They'd been there to talk to each other, able to meet on a professional level that had gradually allowed for a more personal level. But, a message from her marked urgent was unusual to say the least.  
  
The transmission to Admiral Mecal's office, all checks and verifications having gone through, came to life.  
  
"Admiral." Carth said quickly, caught out of his thoughts by the flare of light. A blue eyed man with short cut hair, the line of his uniform slightly wrinkled, looked back at him.  
  
"Commander Onasi." The Admiral greeted. He waited, almost expectantly.  
  
"About fifteen minutes ago, Sir, a freighter with a civilian Ident but no records of a parent company or cargo inspection veered off course towards us. They claimed navigational problems, but in light of the previous information, we eliminated the threat when they closed. They blew up as if they were carrying an armory twice the size of ours. You'll have the full report on your desk within the hour, but I thought that you may wish to warn the other ships." Carth reported evenly.  
  
The Admiral was silent for a moment. "Noted. I want immediate updates on your findings, such as they may be."  
  
"Of course, Admiral."  
  
The older man turned to his aide, that officer beyond view. "See to that this goes out to the fleet."  
  
"Aye, Sir."  
  
The Admiral looked back to Carth, "It's a shame though, Commander. That you can't even stay out of trouble at a port call."  
  
Carth smiled thinly, "Just a gift, Admiral. Just a gift."  
  
The man chuckled, but it last more than a breath. "I admit, I thought you'd be calling for other reasons."  
  
"Other reasons, Sir?"  
  
"Well, I know you aren't one to let personal considerations effect your duty, but given the fact that you were on the same team, so to speak, for so long I thought."  
  
"Admiral. I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." But while he protested, there was cold pit in his stomach. He found himself continuing, as if to fill the silence so the Admiral wouldn't speak, wouldn't bring that chill to full life, ".I've been down at the planet for the past few hours and due to the situation with the Sith freighter I haven't had a chance to go through the latest bulletins."  
  
"I see." The Admiral was silent for a moment, choosing words. Carth hated him for it.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Carth." The man's voice had dropped a little, "We've received word that Padawan Revan has left the Jedi temple." It was a perfect display of showmanship, whether the Admiral realized it or not. The pause was filled with perfect tension and Carth felt his eyes narrow, just waiting. "And she did it without the Jedi Council's permission."  
  
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Nima Onasi - Carrying on as ordered! I'd mentioned earlier I'm trying to make this a more . plot driven fict than previous ones. So very glad to hear that the tension was raised. Thank you!  
  
Akasha15 - I thought it was a good thing. (plus, it kept me out of having to write a fight scene. Not a strong point ;) And. I'd always thought that Revan would have to be around the same age as Carth. I mean, she fought in the Mandy wars too. I got the feeling Carth didn't enter that as an old man. Plus, you know Revan has to be as old or older than Bastila. No way they'd let the male Revan be younger ;) Just food for thought, now. Angsty? Me? Now, let's be realistic. Anyone writing Revan/Carth ficts is going to be a touch angsty. I mean. them exchanging chocolates and roses just ain' going to happen without serious soul griping ;) Sith Lord, eh? Have you tried the hand wave and "You will regret your evil ways, Darth?" It worked for Luke. 


	5. Chapter 4

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
WARNING - I, unfortunately need to add another disclaimer. Now, its not directly alluded to in this chapter, but. Josh Whedon owns it/them. Not me. Wish I did. If anyone can guess what I'm talking about (and even if you didn't know the exact reference, it isn't like the chapter is so long that it don' stand out) go watch an episode and lift a glass!  
  
Further WARNING - Okay, guys. I couldn't help it! I got utterly inspired and wrote a WHOLE bunch. (well, a whole bunch for me) And . . .well,. I'm just too excited to not post it all right away. Please still let me know what you may think about each chapter. I do want to make sure I'm hitting the mark chapter by chapter but. . . here comes a mess of them all at once!  
  
Remnants - Chapter 4  
  
"It's my fault," The dark haired Jedi's voice was smooth, even in self blame, "No one else could have truly felt the tension rising in Revan. I should have known that something like this was going to happen."  
  
"You weren't even on planet, Bastila." Carth said flatly. "Let it go."  
  
The image of the lady, flickering and ephemeral, turned to the side, a lock of hair obscuring her face briefly. "I am not sure I can." She admitted, "But. that isn't important here." She looked back at him, expression set in resolve. "I wanted to make sure you knew. To make sure that all of us know."  
  
"There's no chance this isn't just a jaunt out, right?" Carth asked, though he knew he was grasping at straws. "That she just got bored and went wandering for a bit."  
  
"Carth, Jedi do not get bored and go wandering." Bastila chided slightly, "Not a Padawan without informing her Master. And if Revan had wanted to go exploring, all she had to do was ask and the trip would have been arranged."  
  
Carth paused, "Arranged?"  
  
"Yes. Revan is a Padawan, Carth. A very powerful one. The Council is not about to take chances with her education this time around." The Jedi's tone was snippy.  
  
"I see."  
  
"I wonder if you do. She is no longer on planet. By any standards this implies a desertion of the order and a desertion of her training. And with Revan . . . it implies so much more."  
  
"I understand, Bastila." It was Carth's turn to be angered. "Revan's left. You think she's returned to the dark side. I take it that the Jedi will be out in force to stop her?"  
  
"Can you think of what else we can do?" Bastila's voice had dropped to a whisper, syllabant and ever so faintly sarcastic. "She needs to be found. We will find her." Her shoulders straightened, "I know how you feel about her."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, lady." Carth's denial was flat. A warning against continuation.  
  
"Of course not." Bastila did not heed entirely, but did not force the issue, "Regardless, then. I know how she felt about you. Such emotions can linger, even in those in thrall to the dark side. If she attempts to contact you, you must inform the Jedi council right away. We will handle it." Carth's expression was eloquent. "I mean this, Carth. You've seen her fight. She is fully capable of killing you if you confront her. Let us handle this."  
  
"You mean the Council."  
  
Bastila nodded, "Every Jedi will be informed to keep ears and eyes open. But there are several of us who are being specifically tasked to follow up on certain . . . leads."  
  
"I see."  
  
The Jedi shifted her weight impatiently, "I must let the others know. I'm having a hard time getting a hold of Canderous. That crew you set him up with . . . "  
  
"Mal is a good man."  
  
"Yes. Well, for a good man he and his crew are awfully hard to find. We're having Juhani dedicated to tracking them down."  
  
"Ah. Your first lead."  
  
She didn't bother to deny it. "We both know that Canderous never cared about Revan's aims. Just her strength. She knew it too."  
  
Carth noticed that Bastila had stopped referring to Revan in the present tense. He didn't say anything.  
  
The Jedi gazed at him and nodded faintly. "We'll talk later." She said and calmly disconnected the transmission.  
  
Carth remained in his seat for a moment, and a moment only. Then he stood and left the room. The halls moved by quickly and for once he didn't pay attention to the faces of his crew.  
  
"All leave has been revoked." He announced even as his foot entered the bridge. "I want to be ready to leave orbit in three hours."  
  
Jaia was gaping, perhaps even now more certain he was insane. Even Preston looked startled. "Sir?"  
  
"We've been ordered to follow up on the potential source of our new Sith boldness." Carth said shortly. "Get the crew aboard now."  
  
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Nima Onasi - You have your answer to the 'any more soon'. I feel bad about posting so much at once. *winces* But.... I want to see what happens to! Hehe. I got your email and will respond through that soon. Haven't had good access lately. 


	6. Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. The crew of the FireFly Serenity belong to Josh Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Again - very sad. If they belonged to me, the networks would never have dared dump it ;) However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
For the record? I never intended to have a mini-cross over. It just happened. Not my fault. Honest.  
  
Remnants - Chapter 5  
  
It took them a week. A week where Carth gave navigation, listened to the intelligence that the fleet had to give, and occasionally went out to set foot on the closest planet, staying only hours before returning to give a new course.  
  
However, when the Commander heard the report of a small vessel, ident declaring it to be an independent cargo carrier and its history in apparent order he'd straightened. When the name was announced, he smiled thinly and ordered an intercept course.  
  
The ship was smaller than the Indomitable. The metal showed signs of age and the character bestowed only by years of flitting between stars. The difference between this slightly grimy vessel and the gleaming lines of the Indomitable was stark. They didn't hail, but the Commander had ordered a channel open.  
  
"This is Carth Onasi and I need to speak with Canderous Ordo," he said. The fact that rank nor ship was mentioned caused Jaia to give Preston a glance. It was silent for several moments afterward.  
  
"This is Captain Reynolds. That's a mighty big ship you're bringing in here just to have a chat, Commander." A male voice said, words coming quick despite their drawl.  
  
"Its just the ride I happen to be in, Captain." Carth returned smoothly. "But I can come over in a shuttle if you'd like."  
  
"Commander," Preston said quietly. The single word was enough to register his concerns. Carth knew it and Preston knew it.  
  
"Well, I don't see much of a problem with that." Captain Reynolds allowed. "But lets leave the pistols and escort behind. It gets a mite crowded with them."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
"Alright then. We'll be waiting."  
  
Carth ended the voice only transmission and cut off his first officer, "I know. I realize. It's fine. If anything approaches, let me know."  
  
Preston straightened defensively, "I wasn't going to say a word."  
  
"Then call it a precautionary measure." Carth returned. "I'll be back shortly. If, on the off chance something does happen, blow them out of the sky."  
  
"Aye, Sir."  
  
++++  
  
They opened the cargo bay airlock for him and he walked through. An even glance around showed that there were a few boxes of cargo, but more than enough of the bay was open to accommodate the people standing there. Therefore, it must have been a precautionary measure that left the tall dark skinned woman standing on the catwalk-like stairs to the exit. There was a rifle nearby, within her reach but not her hands. A girl, in her teens and wearing a pretty red dress leaned against the railing along with the woman, and she stared at Carth with a tilted head.  
  
In the far corner of the bay stood a rather well dressed man with a young woman that Carth remembered to be the ship's mechanic. The man was clearly nervous, but the young woman smiled sunnily at him and he nodded back to her. It was hard to not get drawn into smiling back.  
  
That left Captain Reynolds and another man standing about three yards in front. Of the two, the man Carth knew as Captain Reynolds was the less imposing. Light brown hair and a face that was deceptively mild. The man beside him had darker hair and his form was well muscled, giving evidence in addition to his anticipatory expression, that he was ready for a fight.  
  
"Permission to come aboard." Carth said.  
  
"Granted." Captain Reynolds returned. "So what's your business here?".  
  
"Where is Canderous?" Carth followed up without a pause.  
  
"Here." Ordo walked from behind some crates, openly carrying his rifle. "What do you want, Onasi?"  
  
"To talk. In private."  
  
"That doesn't sound very sociable." The man next to Captain Reynolds drawled.  
  
"I'm not." Carth responded, not taking his eyes from Canderous.  
  
Canderous smirked, "Yeah, I'll talk to you." He began to walk over. His Captain shifted back, as did the other man, to make room.  
  
"In private, Canderous." Carth said.  
  
"Come on, Jayne." Captain Reynolds jerked his head to the side. Jayne made a face at Carth, but nevertheless followed his Captain in the endeavor to give Carth and Canderous some space.  
  
"He looks like you, Mal." Carth heard Jayne complain to Reynolds. Both Reynolds and Carth ignored it.  
  
No one actually left the bay and that the woman on the catwalk was still positioned to take action. Carth rather approved of this. It seemed Canderous had fallen in with a loyal enough group. He was rather annoyed to note that Canderous was not blocking his ship mate's line of fire, however.  
  
"Hurry up and say what you have to." Canderous said dismissively, "Captain doesn't much appreciate the hold up and neither do I."  
  
"I'll keep it simple. Have you heard from Revan lately?"  
  
Canderous looked surprised, "No. Not for some time. Why? What's happened?"  
  
"She's left the order." Carth said shortly, eyes following the movements of Captain Reynolds before returning. "It seems she's gone back to the dark side."  
  
Canderous snorted. "So?"  
  
He'd known it would be like this, but Carth couldn't help the way his jaw tightened. "So. She's going to get a lot of people killed if we don't find her."  
  
"You Republics have such a short definition of what is right and wrong. Anything outside of your realm you fear. And because you fear it you can neither control it or conquer it. If she's decided that she can make something a bit purer of your ragged Republic, the only question is if she has the strength. And if she has the strength, then whether she wishes it."  
  
"So you won't help me find her."  
  
Canderous grin. "Help you find her? No."  
  
"But you'll go find her." Carth bit.  
  
Canderous shrugged, "That's up to the Captain." He regarded Carth for a moment. "I have to admit, that is one I owe you."  
  
Carth stepped in a little. "That's right. You do. It's no secret that she trusted you. If she comes to you for help, I need you to tell me."  
  
"I'm not telling you anything." Canderous retorted easily. Carth could feel his body tense. He could almost feel Reynold's crew tensing as well. He took a breath.  
  
"Right. So much for your honor then."  
  
"My honor is not the issue here. You're a weak man who never could see beyond the confines of his small world to see what type of woman Revan was. And is. And that is something I would not betray. Especially not to you."  
  
Carth locked eyes with the Mandelorian. There was motion at the back, the young man quietly urging the engineer to the side where a box or two would serve as cover, just in case.  
  
The Commander smiled thinly. "A simple no would have sufficed." He turned to exit.  
  
No one moved from their places. Carth moved to seal off the airlock himself and said, without looking back. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention my visit to Juhani."  
  
"Juhani isn't here." Canderous grunted.  
  
"She will be." 


	7. Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - 6  
  
They were alive, but they were buried just the same. She'd said it was appropriate. They met beneath the earth and stone and waited. Waited until true night had come and bring with it their victory.  
  
Stone surrounded them, cool and unyielding. The four arched doorways that lead from the vaguely square room held no doors. As a result the air that rose on waves of heat and fell back from the cold ceilings created an almost breeze.  
  
She'd brought in a chair. No one knew exactly where she had found it. However, she'd placed it against the wall, to where all four entrances could be seen and watched. The whole academy was under her view.  
  
"They continue to look for their Prodigal Knight." Though this one wore the black robes, the concealing hood just as all of his brethren, she knew him. He was the first of her recruits but his ambition was not yet strong enough to push him into rash acts.  
  
She smiled lazily, "Do you think they'll succeed?"  
  
"I don't know, my Master." He said uncertainly. "The Jedi are persistent, and there are many worlds eager to prove their loyalty."  
  
"Loyalty." She snorted, "Loyalty that belongs to us. To me. Soon. Very soon we will show them what it truly means to be a Sith. We'll rise and teach them the fear of doubting our strength."  
  
"Yes, my Master."  
  
She eyed him, "They may indeed find the trail. I'm certain that there was not much of one left but it is worth keeping an eye on."  
  
"Yes, my Master. We will have people watch the Jedi. Already we have eyes upon Knight Bastila."  
  
She stared off into the dark, eyes narrowing slowly. "No."  
  
He waited, knowing that to interrupt now would be dangerous.  
  
"No. . . I don't believe it is Bastila who needs to be watched. . . " 


	8. Chapter 7

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - 7  
  
It was dark. The map that was projected into the air glowed softly, but it was still dark. Carth stared at it and then glanced down at the service record pulled up on his screen. Then back to the map. He closed his eyes and tried to think. However, the late hour and several nights spent in sleeplessness had taken their toll.  
  
If he were a runaway Sith. . . no. Back in the corner of his mind he still flinched away from applying that term, those motives to her. But it seemed that the cards were laid out in front of him. Flinching from them didn't change their faces.  
  
If he were Revan, running away, where would he go?  
  
Some place large? Lots of people to blend in to? Or some place so remote that no one would ever know he existed? Or back to wherever the Sith fleet had its greatest concentration. . .  
  
His hand rose to his face and he rubbed at his forehead.  
  
He didn't realize it when he'd fallen asleep.  
  
++++++++++++++  
  
His eyes were still closed. Sound arrived, like the dial of a radio being turned up. Whispers became laughter, conversation, voices raised in discussion and argument. The smell was that of alcohol and alien sweat, each vying for dominance. Beneath it was a sweeter hint. Strong perfume, sickeningly floral. He could taste it.  
  
He opened his eyes and was not surprised to find he was in a bar. Bemused, he began to walk. It was built with a stage as its focus. The manner of people around him made it obvious the type of dancing that would be the focus of that stage. A curious glance showed two human females, one with very short hair and one with rather long, dancing without the hindrance of much clothing.  
  
He kept walking. The lighting was poor, focused on the stage primarily. But the walls appeared to be made of some sort of adobe. It was familiar somehow. But too elusive to grasp.  
  
The sound of a lightsaber flaring to life was suddenly the only thing in a room that was dead silent, despite the crowd still moving and living.  
  
He turned.  
  
There was a girl, holding a lightsaber with easy grace. He could feel the sweat bead up on her forehead in anxiety and anticipation. However, while Carth could not have named the color of her hair or eyes, he could give every detail about the woman the girl was facing.  
  
Her hair was auburn, pulled back in a rather plain ponytail with simply a single braid to decorate it. Her form was neither overly muscular like the female soldiers he'd seen, nor almost lanky like the lady scouts he'd encountered. Slim, but well curved. She was wearing black, close fitting and asexual, but he knew her form regardless. He knew her form perhaps more thoroughly than he had any right to. Just as he knew her face, the angles, the curve of her lips. She was not delicately pretty, but there was a strength in the lines that could only be called striking. He knew this. He knew her.  
  
The fact that she was wearing a mask did nothing to hinder that.  
  
He took a breath and it whooshed. They moved.  
  
Silent except for the electric crash of lightsaber against lightsaber, they moved. They danced. Fast and dazzling. Blood flew out in an arch, each droplet perfectly formed by the force of its flight.  
  
Carth drew his blasters then. Eyes narrowed and he fired, four bolts in quick succession, all aimed with perfect precision. The first burned through cloth and tore a hole through the heart. The second, third and fourth simply made the hole larger.  
  
She turned to him, ponytail bouncing and gray-green eyes focusing on his. They were filled with tears. Her mouth opened and she exhaled his name.  
  
He realized then that he didn't know exactly which one of them he'd just killed. 


	9. Chapter 8

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - 8  
  
Carth Onasi woke to the sound of his own voice and the sensation of tears sliding hot down his face. For several long moments he was certain that he'd killed someone, and absolutely uncertain over whether he'd killed the right person for the right reasons.  
  
"Sir. . . Sir. . . "  
  
Carth's eyes focused blearily and he realized that Preston was standing in the doorway of the room, looking downright alarmed.  
  
He sat up, shaking his head in the negative. "What is it?"  
  
"The latest transmission from the Fleet, sir. You asked me to inform you when it came in, no matter the hour." Preston said carefully.  
  
"Right. Right. I'll go take a look at it." Carth knew he should stand. Knew he should wipe his face and make some sort of joke to cover this situation. But he didn't. He just drew a breath and gathered his will to stand up.  
  
"Permission to speak freely, Commander?" Preston asked carefully.  
  
Carth stood now, squaring his shoulders. "Permission granted," his tone was carefully neutral. He walked over to his desk, not looking at Preston.  
  
"Sir. I've never seen you take leave in my whole time on this ship. You only take hours out on each port call, and it's no secret you've been harassing the night watch. Don't you think that perhaps now might be a good time for you to take a break?"  
  
Carth wiped his face with his hand roughly. It left him looking at Preston first incredulously, then with a slight smile, "I appreciate the thought, Preston. But I'm fully capable of doing my job."  
  
"I didn't say you weren't." Preston said firmly. "I said you deserve a break from this."  
  
The Commander punched up his screen and began to load up the latest reports, "We all deserve a break from it. But we're in the Fleet. Its not about what is deserved its about what is needed. Thank you for your input, Preston."  
  
"Its not as if we're finding anything, Commander. And there are six other ships in the fleet who are doing the same covert checks that we are." Preston looked wry, "Revan would have to be a rock to not realize that when a Republic ship entered the system, she needed to get out. This is nothing more than posturing and we both know it."  
  
Carth tapped the delete key, face light by yellow glow. "That is what you think?"  
  
"Yes, Sir." Preston said firmly, "The whole crew as well. To be honest, they can't wait to we get back to normal duty. At least then there's a chance of a little action and, frankly, regular port calls."  
  
"Maybe Indomitable should get back to normal then." Carth said slowly.  
  
Preston smiled.  
  
Carth did not.  
  
++++++++++++++++++  
  
Two weeks later, he was walking towards a hanger bay on Coruscant.  
  
"Hanger 343," he'd been told. It wasn't the furthest away but it certainly wasn't the closest. When he arrived at the building with the numbers emblazoned on the side, a keycard allowed him entrance through a secured door. He touched the panel to his left and lights blossomed.  
  
Ebon Hawke sat in the middle of the otherwise deserted hanger, shining.  
  
"Hello, beautiful." Carth said softly. He walked over and lowered the ramp. The familiar scent of engine, oil, Wookie and Mission's favorite perfume was still barely discernable in the air.  
  
It felt like coming home. 


	10. Chapter 9

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - 9  
  
Ebon Hawk was squared away, just the way Carth had left her. However, she still needed the flight checks properly run though before she could fly. The methodical steps of systems verification was automatic and strangely soothing. A final nod to the flight console and he was standing, heading for the exit to make sure that the refueling lines were disengaged and that the dock crews had found the money transferred with no complications.  
  
There was a woman waiting for him at the end of the gangplank. Carth slowed his steps, the sound of his boots against metal deliberate and loud.  
  
She was a slight little thing. Barely 5'2, he estimated. White blonde hair framed a heart shaped face that, despite its youthful, almost childish lines, was rather determined. He guessed that expression was for his benefit. Since he doubted a Padawan would have any business with him with no Master in sight, he had to wonder how long this woman had actually been a Jedi. Her robes, typical tan and brown, gave no hint.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked.  
  
"Carth Onasi." The woman said, smiling, "I've heard a lot about you. However, I'm here to offer my help to you. Not the other way around."  
  
"Thanks. But I don't think I need any help." Carth responded reasonably, "I'm on leave. But I'm sure that Admiral."  
  
The woman stepped closer, "Perhaps I should have been more precise. I'm here to help Revan." Her pale eyes scanned the stoic face, "I think. . . that we have that much in common."  
  
"Again. I'm sure that the Fleet would appreciate your assistance, Jedi." Carth's tone did not vary. "However, I'm taking the smart road and keeping my head clear of the whole thing. I've had enough of Jedi and betrayals to last me a life time."  
  
"Commander Onasi, please." The woman stepped even closer, lowering her voice. "I know you can't. . . Revan is in terrible trouble with this. The Jedi, your Fleet, they are all looking for her. I fear for what might happen. What if your fleet finds her and fires first, then asks questions? What if one of the Jedi, like Master Yun, who think that she is Sith and cannot be trusted, finds her and kills her before. . ." She cut off. She couldn't have been a Knight for long, Carth observed. Not and still show such signs of distress so openly to a stranger. She locked her gaze with him.  
  
"Carth." Her voice was soft, "I knew her in the temple. She was always. . . I would not have passed the trials without her. While I cannot say for certain that she has not become what we all fear, I can say that if she must be found - if she must be captured, fought or killed - I would have it be by the hand of a friend and not an enemy."  
  
For a moment, he could not tear his gaze from her face or her earnest tone. He inhaled and shook his head. "What makes you think that I will be able to help you find her?"  
  
She smiled then, "Just call it a hunch." She raised her chin, "After all, you wish to find her for all the right reasons. Not only to stop her, but to care while stopping her. That plus a suitable application of logic based on what we both know about her --"  
  
"Logic?" Carth raised a brow.  
  
She nodded firmly. "Logic and instinct." She said solemnly. "We'll find Revan. I can feel it."  
  
"Yeah. And I feel that you're talking to the wrong person. I told you. I'm not looking for her."  
  
The smile returned, "Alright. Then I'll just come with you while you do not look. Surely you would not refuse a Jedi passage? I'd think that would be very frowned upon."  
  
". . . You got a name, lady?"  
  
"Alyna Vertere."  
  
"Jedi Vertere. You're damn stubborn."  
  
"So I've been told, Carth Onasi. So I've been told. But regardless, you will take me with you. One way or the other."  
  
Carth stared down at the Jedi for a very long moment, caught by the certainty in her tone. "Get aboard." 


	11. Chapter 10

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants - 10  
  
It only took a few moments to settle matters with the traffic control for lifting off. Carth handled the communication and Vertere sat beside him. Without a word she activated the thrusters and opened up the Bodner lines, demonstrating at least a passing familiarity with being in a co-pilot seat.  
  
The quiet continued until they'd reached open space.  
  
"Where are you going?" Vertere asked quietly. Carth had been wondering the same thing.  
  
"What does that instinct and logic tell you?" Carth said.  
  
Vertere chuckled and touched his shoulder briefly, "Well, let's start from the beginning, shall we?"  
  
Carth glanced at her hand, then at her, raising a brow. She was beaming back at him.  
  
"No matter what triggered her flight, we can assume the following. She would first go somewhere that she felt safe, that she could act from. Correct?" Vertere didn't appear to notice Carth's response. Her hand moved to gesture, however.  
  
"Yeah. I suppose. Unless she knew where a Sith strong hold was. Then she'd go straight there." He pointed out. Vertere looked out to the stars and was quiet a moment.  
  
"Perhaps. But that is assuming that she knew. The Temple is very cloistered at times. The Jedi themselves have no idea where the remaining Sith have hidden, or even if there are enough left to call a strong hold. If she knew, then that meant that she'd of had to have had foreknowledge or someone told her. And for someone to tell her, they'd have to know she was returning to her old ways. And they would have had to have known that."  
  
"You're getting rather complicated." Carth said dryly.  
  
"Can't you keep up?"  
  
"I'm just looking for that logic you were talking about."  
  
Vertere sneered at him and then shook her head, "How about this? Revan is too smart to make a straight line out. The Jedi do not know how she left the planet. So its likely that she either made a deal or used the Force to hide her presence on a ship. She wouldn't leave a straight line to be followed."  
  
Carth nodded. "Alright. It's a working theory."  
  
"That means that the planet is of her choice. It's not just where the Sith are . . . its her decision." Vertere said triumphantly.  
  
Carth wasn't convinced. He shook his head but then shrugged. "Alright. Keep going."  
  
"So all we have to do is figure out where she'd choose to go."  
  
"Gee. And only a thousand plus worlds to choose from."  
  
The blonde gave him a cool look, "You know, you are not being helpful. For a man who's been flailing around even with all the resources of the Fleet and apparently has no idea where to go next, you could be more open minded."  
  
He didn't look at her, his mouth set in a thin line. It was strange to notice that his hand was clenched into a fist. He didn't remember doing that, but he had a feeling that his fingers had tightened when she touched him.  
  
Things were complicated enough, his duty, his feelings, unresolved issues and the urgency to find Revan. He didn't need an audience while he figured it all out, much less one who didn't seem to want to respect the fact that he was not in the mood to be helped, befriended, interacted with or Gods forbid touched.  
  
Her hand had been rather soft though.  
  
Carth gritted his teeth. "I am open minded. You are guessing."  
  
Vertere sighed and shifted in her seat. "No. I'm just feeling out the possibilities. And I do have a point, you know." She smiled, undaunted. "Everyone has a tendency to forget. But Revan is really only a few years old. Her experience with actual places and people is severely limited." She leaned in and her voice dropped to give emphasis. "Now, you tell me. She knows that. Do you think she'd risk going to a world she's never been to, going to a world that only her false memories have given her impressions of, or do you think she'll go somewhere she knows?"  
  
Carth's hand froze on the navigation. ". . . Some place she knows."  
  
The woman straightened and nodded, "Exactly. Now, barring the worlds that have been destroyed of course. . . where do you think she'd be?"  
  
"Manaan," Carth said slowly.  
  
"You think-?"  
  
"No. She hated it there. Said it was a bloody maze and that she didn't like the way it felt." Carth said without hesitation.  
  
"Kashyyyk is out." Vertere offered, "The Wookies are not encouraging any visitors. While your friend Zalbaar may be able to get them to accept her for a time, it would be difficult for her to come and leave as she wanted."  
  
Carth pulled up the worlds and their coordinates, one by one. "Dantooine."  
  
"It was destroyed."  
  
"Not all of it. Just the Jedi Academy there." Carth mused, "But there are too many people now trying to rebuild and the community was too small. She'd be obvious there."  
  
"That leaves Tatooine." Vertere said simply.  
  
"No, there's still Korri. . . " The image of tan walls, barely visible through the smoke, people and dim light came to him, followed by the rapid flash of Revan, masked, and a lightsaber snapping to life. He reached after the image, trying desperately to remember more. But that was all he could bring from the memories of what he very dimly recalled as a bad dream.  
  
"Korriban is kind of a small community as well. We can scratch that off." Pale eyes focused. "What?"  
  
Carth deliberately began to set the computer to working through the jump coordinates. "We'll try Tatooine first."  
  
Vertere laughed, "Perfect then." She looked rather pleased. "See, Carth? I told you we'd make an impressive team!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Impressive indeed." Carth felt an undercurrent of hope and found himself smiling. "Its only impressive if she's there, Vertere."  
  
The woman wrinkled her nose, "It's Alayne." Her head tilted to the side and her pale eyes were mischievous, "It's not as if we are strangers, Carth. And the trip to Tatooine will take a bit. Call me Alayne and at least try to think of me as a friend that you trust?"  
  
"Alayne." Carth repeated, automatically.  
  
It did not enter his mind nor his imagination to realize exactly how obedient he was being. 


	12. Chapter 11

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants -11  
  
They were about half way through the trip to Tatooine.  
  
"I love flying." Alayne said without preamble or prompt. She'd pulled up her leg on the seat and was looking out at the stars with an expression of deep satisfaction.  
  
"Space or atmosphere?" Carth asked. It was going to be a fairly long flight and it made no sense to not indulge in a little conversation. Besides, the small paranoid voice in the back of his head asserted, it wouldn't do to allow her to continue to be a mystery after all.  
  
"Mm. Mostly atmosphere." She admitted. "Its more exciting."  
  
"Yeah. You could say that, fighting air currents, gravity and not entirely reliable turbulence." Carth laughed a breath.  
  
"Oh, come now. Space isn't all that peaceful either, no matter what the poets say." Alayne threw the question and its implicit challenge back at him.  
  
He shrugged, "No. It's not. But it's a heck of a lot smoother."  
  
"That I'll grant." Alayne said with a nod. "So, tell me about yourself, Commander? I've read the files. Those decorations on your uniform. . . I know they didn't come easily."  
  
"No."  
  
"I'd like to know." The Jedi asked, voice going quiet, gentle. She paused, "I know that people, good people, likely died so that you'd live and end up being the one to have them. That's simply the way it goes. If you can tell me about those people. . . about what you saw. I'd like to know."  
  
Now it was Carth's turn to look out at the stars. Surprisingly, he didn't feel the instinctive pulling back that such questions, so routinely given by wet-behind-the-ears ensigns and eye-lash fluttering diplomat's daughters, usually gave him. He'd kept up that wall, even when others, people that he'd actually cared about and called friends, had asked him the same things more circumspectly. But maybe it was time to let go of it. Somehow he felt that maybe . . . just maybe it was.  
  
"You really want to hear old stories like that?" Carth asked finally.  
  
"I do." Alayne was certain.  
  
So he told her.  
  
++++++++++++  
  
Tatooine was about as expected. Hot. Sand that blew and made hair feel heavy, dirty. They the Ebon Hawk down gently in the cresting heat of late afternoon. Alayne sucked in her breath as she stepped out of the airlock and into the thick oppression that was the desert world.  
  
"My," she muttered.  
  
"Not exactly a prime vacation spot." Carth noted, continuing to walk. Alayne hesitated a moment, and then paced him.  
  
"It's a good thing that a prime vacation isn't our goal then." She responded lightly, voice smooth and almost playful. He wasn't sure about that last part. Playful wasn't a trait he associated with most Jedi.  
  
But there had been exceptions.  
  
Alayne was smiling. She did that a lot. However, she wasn't looking back at him, apparently intent on scouring the scene before her. "So where do you think we should start then?" she asked.  
  
"We can make inquiries, discreetly, about ships that may have docked in the time frame for her leaving." Carth said, "With so many of the corporation people leaving here, we've got an easier job than we could have."  
  
The Jedi nodded. "Alright, then. That's a start. Then what?"  
  
"Two people are more obvious than one. I was thinking that while you did the docking record checks that I could do a bit of scouting. You know, get a feel for the area and see what's changed."  
  
Her eyes narrowed, "I see." She paused as they filed from the landing pad into the streets, "Then this has nothing with trying to get away from me or your own ego demanding that you should be the one to find Revan?" She raised a brow, unconsciously imitating Bastila at her coldest.  
  
"What? No. Of course not." Carth retorted.  
  
"Then I see no reason that we should separate." Alayne repeated firmly. "It's not as if I'm conspicuous.."  
  
Carth gave her a sideways look. The Jedi had abandoned the robes, acknowledging that if Revan was on planet and caught a whiff of a Jedi wandering around she'd be much harder to find. So now she wore a skirt that seemed to be made more of filmy scarves than cloth, all in varying shades of browns, tall boots, and a tan tunic belted to her small waist. The skirt had surprised him, but since it wasn't a single joined piece but several that fluttered around her, he supposed it didn't hinder much movement. And it also hid the lightsaber at her side with its constant shifting quite nicely.  
  
So she did have a point. She wasn't conspicuous - at least not any more than any other attractive woman. . .  
  
He paused, realizing he'd lost his train of thought.  
  
Alayne continued to speak. "Besides, I don't know my way around here. And you are a nice imposing presence that could lend me a little weight in my asking."  
  
"A Jedi needing a brute squad?" Carth said, recovering and deciding that some ground wasn't worth arguing over. "That's something you don't see everyday."  
  
"Yes, well, I'm not a Jedi here, am I?" The smile was back.  
  
"Good point. Well, I guess we'll just improvise." Carth acceded.  
  
+++++++++  
  
It took very little to find out the ships that had docked those weeks ago. And it only took a smile from Alayne and a scowl from Carth to further prompt the information that a red haired woman, about 5'7, had not seemed to be on any of the transports. At least not that anyone had seen. Neither Commander or Jedi found that definitive.  
  
"Look, we should turn in and get some sleep." Alayne said firmly. The stars were out now, the temperature dropping rapidly. Carth found himself wanting to argue with her, but not really having the will to do so. Not that he'd expected to get results from the docking authorities - that'd be too easy. But it would have been a sign that they were on the right track, beyond hazy recollections of half hopeful half anguished dreams. 


	13. Chapter 12

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants – 12  
  
He dreamed again. This time it was much less easy to find a coherency. Blood, fear, pain... all standard ingredient for a nightmare, melded and joined in an unremarkable but powerful sequence. He woke up with a start, gulping for a breath. A few moments assured him of the reality of the world he now found around him and he rubbed his hand over his eyes. He continued to sit, still, for a moment longer.  
  
Then he decided that something to drink might not be a bad thing.  
  
The ship was darkened and peaceful. The cool deck plates met his bare feet with little sound. The water was easy enough to find, but the glasses were proving a problem. He was rummaging through one of the bins when he heard something.  
  
He began to walk towards the compartment Alayne was sleeping in, first simply curious. Then the sound sorted itself into a female voice.  
  
"No! Don't!"  
  
His pulse pistol was not standard sleep time wear. While he had serious doubts that something could be actually wrong, he wasn't fool enough to discount it entirely. He'd just have to improvise in that case, because he was running towards Alayne's room regardless.  
  
It was dark. The ambient glow of overhead lighting was enough to give him something to adjust to. No enemy stood in the middle of the room, no monsters were waiting to fight. Alayne lay in her bunk, twisting, in the throes of what looked to be a truly hideous dream.  
  
She wasn't wearing a lot.  
  
The moral dilemma lasted only long enough for her to start sobbing quietly. Carth walked over, "Alayne," he called quietly. She didn't respond. He looked down at her and swallowed. One hand reached out to tug her blanket up a bit higher. "Alayne, wake up. Its just a dream."  
  
"No!" She screamed, and Carth grunted as he was thrown backwards, across the room. He impacted with the other set of bunks and fell to the floor, in a sprawl. His chest felt as if the hand that had thrown him had squeezed, knocking the wind out of him even before he hit the ground.  
  
The world was spinning with little black imploding stars dancing jagged steps.  
  
"Carth? Oh, Force, I'm sorry, I... are you alright?"  
  
Small hands were touching his chest, then his throat. Alayne's face, streaked with tears and still bearing traces of fear, hovered above him.  
  
"...yeah... I'm good...."  
  
"I'm sorry. I was just... it was such a horrible nightmare... " The Jedi whispered and then her shoulders sagged. She moved to help Carth sit, arms wrapping around him. She was very warm and very close.  
  
"What did you dream?" Carth asked, still tracking the stars. They were beginning to fade, and he was rather disappointed.  
  
"I..." Alayne broke off, staring at him. Then, she ducked her head, "Its foolish. It's a weakness... but what if it isn't? What if I'm seeing the future?"  
  
"Alayne?"  
  
She looked at him, "I dreamed that I was fighting, Revan..." She murmured, "She was going to kill you. And I was fighting her. She... I could feel the lightsaber go through me." Her hand clenched at the center of her chest.  
  
Carth looked, blinked, then looked back up, "It was a dream." He said quietly.  
  
Alayne nodded rapidly, "Just a dream. It... it won't happen like that."  
  
"No." Carth agreed, shifting his weight uneasily.  
  
Her voice lowered, "Promise me?" She looked at him intently, "Carth... promise me you won't let her kill me? I..."  
  
"Alayne... I promise."  
  
She licked her lips nervously, "Because I could never let her hurt you again...."  
  
"I..."  
  
He wasn't entirely sure how, but Carth found himself kissing Alayne, surrounded by her scent and the echo of her voice. And perhaps because it was dark and quiet, or perhaps because the stars were taking a while to clear, it didn't seem strange.  
  
Kissing her didn't seem strange at all.  
  
Amy – Glad to hear you like my interpretation of Carth. I know he's not /exactly/ like the game, but he's not interacting with Revan at the moment. Plus, he's been through the disillusionment of Dustil, Revan and losing Revan. Sooo... Still liking the situation Alayne?  
  
Nima Onasi – *grins* Writing more. Though I haven't seen as much of your work around as I'd like ;) I'm just greedy I guess. Thanks for letting me know what you think. Hope the chapters are as interesting as you thought they may be :) 


	14. Chapter 13

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Remnants – 13  
  
The sun was rising. He could feel the warmth spilling over inch by inch as it climbed up his face. He had been sitting there for a while, so it wasn't a hard sensation to map. Any warmth to skin that had been so cold, so chilled by the night, was as vivid as a splash of blood in a white room.  
  
Carth watched the city start to stir. When the hatch behind him opened, he heard it. Hesitant footsteps were noted. He did not look up at Alayne until she placed a hand on his shoulder, however. She was smiling awkwardly.  
  
"Are you alright?" she asked, white blonde hair a halo. Her eyes were sparkling, her skin faintly flushed with a blush.  
  
Carth stood, "Yeah. Just thinking. Hey, I think we should take a look at some of the shops. See if anyone's been by purchasing essentials. I doubt she'd of had much with her when she left?"  
  
Alayne's smile faltered, "No. From what I've heard, just the clothing on her back."  
  
"Good. It's a way to go then." He started for the landing pad. She followed after.  
  
"Carth. Wait."  
  
"Aw, come on Alayne. You've been spending all this time convincing me that you can keep up." Carth said back, voice teasing.  
  
She chuckled, "I recognize someone running when I see it, Commander."  
  
He raised a brow, but offered nothing.  
  
Alayne stepped towards him, biting her lip, "What happened between us... neither of us intended.... It was very... weak of me."  
  
Carth chuckled, "Alayne, even Jedi are human. Look, can we forget about it for right now?"  
  
The woman blinked, covering the hurt in her expression quickly, but not quickly enough. "Alright." Carth took a breath and reached out a hand, "I'm not saying forget about it forever. Not sure that I can. But for right now, we have something else to be focusing on. Anything else... even anything like last night... well. Let's just get to the end of this complication before we start figuring out the next," his voice was quiet, and he searched his expression. He added, "You mean something to me... I won't deny that. But I... need to finish things with Revan first. Do you understand?"  
  
The Jedi touched his face very lightly, "I do."  
  
Carth nodded and his hand fell back to his side. He smiled, "Good. Figured you would. So, come on. The sooner we check around this sand trap, the better."  
  
His eyes were flat.  
  


* * *

  
"Nothing." Alayne said, wilting a little in the noon day heat. "Not a trace." She shook her head, "Maybe we need to consider that we were wrong about Tatooine."  
  
Carth shrugged, "Perhaps. But, we're not done looking yet. I didn't think she'd go back to Anchor Head but we could try there next. What do you feel?"  
  
"Feel?"  
  
"I thought Jedi could feel when there was darkness near. Sith," he glanced over to her, "Just a disturbance in the Force?"  
  
Alayne looked wry, "We can. But its not like Revan's an amateur, Carth. If she wants to hide her evil, she'll do it very well."  
  
"Right." Carth said, lips twitching faintly. "So nothing then." The wind eddied in from beyond the city, daring the maze of buildings and kicking up sand. Carth closed his eyes against it, and kept them closed for a long moment.  
  
Come on.... Show me....  
  
Alayne watched, eyes intent. Carth exhaled and shrugged. "We'd better get something to drink. Too easy to get dehydrated out here." He moved to take her arm. She smiled in pleasure and did not resist. Then she noted the establishment they were walking towards. She wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Somehow I don't think they serve just water."  
  
Carth smiled thinly, "It will do. And besides...it's a Cantina. We may find leads there."  
  
Alayne nodded, "Let's stay alert. I don't think it's a very friendly environment."  
  
They entered and he let go of her arm as they did so.  
  
The interior was dark. There were a number of people there, despite the unconventional hour. Carth assumed that they'd come inside to hide from the heat, their memories, or their lives on Tatooine. Alcohol was clearly flowing, at any rate. There were three girls dancing, each facing a different direction in a triangle formation. Their stage was raised, at the center of a circular bar. While not everyone was watching, enough men were glued to their motions to prove that they were a draw.  
  
Alayne nodded briefly towards the tables. All were somewhat shadowed as if to deliberately provide a sanctuary for those who didn't want to be seen.  
  
Carth nodded. "Split up," he said quietly. He was mildly surprised when she nodded and slipped away from him without another word. His jaw tightened and his expression became darker, more remote. His strides took him to the bar. Long legs, bare up to the very sheer and very short skirt of the dancer, paraded behind the bartender as Carth waved him down.  
  
"Give me whatever you got that passes for ale in this place." Carth said, setting down a couple credits. The bartender nodded. Carth scanned the room casually, hardly expecting to see a familiar face. It seemed that the only women in the whole place were either dancing, or a Jedi making the rounds.  
  
Alayne wasn't being bothered, however. Carth smiled grimly. He didn't know whether that was because of the 'don't touch me' aura a Jedi could generate when they wished, or whether the three dancers were simply attracting all of attention. He glanced up. From the way the writhing ladies were falling out of their clothing, he'd suspect it may be a combination of things. One of the girls, human with long black hair, arched her back, gyrating with a bit more enthusiasm and winked at him. He politely raised his glass and put down a few more credits.  
  
"Don't suppose a lot of women come in here on their own..." he led off.  
  
The bartender snorted. "Sometimes."  
  
"Don't suppose you would have seen a lady. About so tall... red hair?" Carth took a drink. "Seems to know how to handle herself?"  
  
The bartender looked at him for a long moment.  
  
"No. Ain' seen anyone like that coming in."  
  
The girls were moving now, switching out places with surprisingly intricate steps. The short-haired one was facing him now, arms gracefully waving in time to the music.  
  
Carth chuckled, "You're telling me that you've never seen a red haired woman come in here? Ever?"  
  
The bartender glared, "That's right! Are you going to drink or ask me stupid questions?"  
  
He raised a hand in a placating gesture, "Hey, no reason to get all upset. Just looking for someone." He took a drink.  
  
The bartender snorted and turned, walking away. Carth's eyes narrowed, but for the moment he kept quiet. The girls shifted again and Carth turned back to the room. He had the impression of dark hair, curly this time, and pale skin as opposed to the tan. Curly, long, and short. Quite a trio...  
  
Trio?  
  
An impression of his dream flashed. There'd been two girls dancing. One with short hair, one with longer hair.  
  
There hadn't been anyone with curly hair...  
  
Carth turned sharply.  
  
The bartender was glaring at him. The two dancers, long haired and short haired, were strutting in a circle, having seemed to have lost additional clothing. The third... She was slipping, almost floating, through the opening in the bar, sliding by a pair of hooting men, and making her way very quickly to what looked like the entrance to the back rooms.  
  
He froze, stunned. It was not the suddenly dream like feel of the situation, nor the fact that he would never have thought to have the answer presented so clearly to him.  
  
It was quite simply that, in all his imaginings, he would have never thought that he was capable of recognizing Revan simply by the curves of her backside.  
  
Carth stood up sharply and moved to follow after the woman. The bartender called after him, but he ignored it. The door to the back flapped shut in front of him, he pushed it open without reducing speed. It was only a short corridor, leading to a few rooms off to the side. There was however a back door. Carth could see it swinging shut, a cloak grabbed hastily from the wall trailing.  
  
Her name came to him, but he closed his lips over it, opting instead to sprint, following her out into the narrow ally way. She'd thrown on the cloak, it was fluttering behind her.  
  
This was ridiculous.  
  
He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed. "You won't run from a Tarantatek, but you run from me. I guess I should be flattered."  
  
She was only a few yards from the exit into the street, but she slowed and stopped as well. She half turned and looked at him, "No. I ran like hell from the Tarantateks. It was the only way I could survive long enough to kill it."  
  
"You trying to tell me something?" Carth smiled.  
  
Revan's black hair did not entirely suit her. She looked too pale, too anxious. The curls were rather fetching, but the way she held her body was nothing like the dancer she'd been imitating. Not anymore. She exhaled a sigh and stepped towards him.  
  
"Stay where you are, Revan." The usually melodious voice was stern.  
  
Revan looked at Carth for a long moment, her expression shuttering over. "Well done." She said shortly, then turned.  
  
Alayne was blocking the way out. A snap, flare, and her lightsaber cast its glow upon the walls. Revan slowly reached into the cloak that provided a dubious measure of modesty to her. However, she did not ignite the double blade, not yet.  
  
"And who are you?" she asked.  
  
Alayne smiled, "Jedi Alyna Vertere." She closed a bit more, "It doesn't have to be this way, Revan. Come with me, back to the Temple. Some time alone, with just the silence and the walls. Meditating and becoming lost in your own thoughts until all there is in the universe is the utterly consuming power of the force... a light that blocks out your own light until you drown in it.... You can come back and purge all the emotions that have haunted you..."  
  
Revan laughed. "Alright. You've said it. Very believable delivery. I could hardly hear the sarcasm. Now. Are you really ignorant enough to want to see this through?" One half of her blade activated, shining brightly.  
  
Alayne grinned and rushed forward.  
  
Carth drew his pistols.  
  


* * *

  
Amy - *wicked grin* I was so hoping that Alayne's personality might become slowly obvious...  
  
Nima Onasi – Hey, no one said you weren't perceptive. ;) And I tried to make the chapter longer this time. It was the least I could do for prompt reviewing :) We're near the home stretch with this one... can't tell yet whether there'll just be a nice good epilog or an additional story. We'll see how it goes.  
  
Thanks for the reviews guys... it's a wonderful motivator :) 


	15. Chapter 14

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Revan assumed a defensive posture. She was at a disadvantage, slight though it may be. She was used to fighting with the double blade, had trained on it as soon as she'd been able to get her hands on one and make it her own. Now, with the narrow confines of the ally hemming them in, she'd be forced to use only one of the blades. This...woman, would be doing the same, but by her own choice. One would have to assume that was because it was a strength.  
  
The woman dove into the combat, obviously enthused and excited. An over head swing was caught and tossed to the site, but Revan's return was blocked as well. No gain.  
  
"Rusty, are we?" The woman said softly.  
  
Revan didn't bother to answer. She dropped, pivoting and thrusting her foot out in an arc to sweep the woman's feet from under her. She jumped, gauzy skirt fluttering around her. Revan dodged to the side in a tight roll, seeking another angle. She barely had room to make it to her feet and the wall was tight at her back now.  
  
Alayne advanced quickly. Too quickly, Revan was able to block and twist around her, effectively reversing their positions. She wasn't very good, Revan noted clinically. Not horrible, surely, but...  
  
"Nice." The woman said, voice still near a whisper, "You've got a lot of fight in you for someone who has lost everything that mattered." She slashed, Revan threw the blade to the side with her own. "Trying so hard to be good. And now everyone thinks you're the darkest thing since...well. You." A plastisteel box came flying at the woman's gesture. Revan ducked and kicked, landing a solid blow against the woman's gut.  
  
Alayne staggered back against the wall, then her eyes darted to the alleyway on their left, "Don't... I'm okay..." she called to Carth.  
  
Revan had noticed when the alliance commander had drawn his weapons. She'd been trying very hard not to think of it since and she'd refused to look over at him. The twisting that grabbed her gut at the simple reminder must have shown in her expression, for Alayne smiled.  
  
"Lost him too. Which is a shame. Granted, he's not the most expressive man in public. But, in private... well worth the wait. I imagine that the comfort sex after you're dead will be even better... "  
  
Revan smirked, advancing with a flurry of strikes. "You think he'll let you get that close? One thing I've learned. Never underestimate Carth's paranoia..."  
  
"It didn't stop him last night." Alayne said, jaw tightening as she sought to block. Revan's hit fell, weak. Alayne pushed forward, pressing through and slashing quickly.  
  
Revan felt the exposed skin of her stomach sear and gagged on her breath. Her right knee buckled, but her hand gestured sharply and Alayne was thrown back against the wall again, the sound of the impact very distinct. Revan did not waste a second in launching herself after the woman. The yellow light saber was pushed to the side and Revan's eyes glinted as she punched the stunned woman, before she'd been able to even focus.  
  
It did not knock Alayne out. But the woman cried out sharply and hunched in on herself. Revan brought the blade around for a sharp downward thrust. Simple and neat as if stabbing a piece of trash on the street. Alayne shifted.  
  
"Don't!" Carth said sharply. In the sudden silence, the hum of the power packs on the pistols was preternaturally loud.  
  
Alayne smiled faintly. "... going to kill another person he loves in front of him?"  
  
Revan's jaw tightened and she stared at Alayne.  
  
"Revan, listen to me..." Carth's voice was measured, cautious.  
  
"Carth...." Alayne's voice was shaken. "She's not going to... she's too fast... Shoot her. Y-you promised..."  
  
The Commander moved. Revan still didn't dare turn to look at him, she remained focused on the blonde. But she was aware, very aware of Carth moving slowly for a better angle. He couldn't see everything yet, the shot wasn't clear enough, she guessed, to make sure that he killed her before she could hurt Alayne.  
  
"...Carth..." Revan said, throat dry. But there was no time. The longer she held this, the more Alayne recovered, and the more the pain flared from her stomach.  
  
And there were no words. No words that would justify to the Republic man why she'd kill someone who was unarmed and just laying there. No way to explain that this ethereally beautiful blonde stank of the dark side, and that meant that she was never really defenseless, just simply less dangerous.  
  
Revan licked her lips and opened her mouth, not even sure what she was going to say. She began to lower the lightsaber.  
  
Alayne moved sharply, screaming a distraction to cover for the motion. Revan's reaction was automatic. Alayne was moving. The lightsaber swept down.  
  
Carth didn't pause. He didn't even blink. He fired, once, twice, three times...  
  
His aim was perfect.  
  
+++++++++  
  
Schally – Thanks for the chapter 12 review :) Hope the Revan showing up when she's semi-needed goes as well as you'd hoped.  
  
Amy – One would assume that Revan wouldn't want someone else snuggling her honey. To be honest? The thing I was most scared about was Alayne looking like a Mary Sue. I mean, I used some Mary Sue-isms... but it was all to show how EVIL she was! Honest!  
  
Mara Jade2 - *grins* Thanks! Trying to comply as soon as I can, yet still have a decent-ish chapter. 


	16. Chapter 15

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Chapter 14  
  
The thing about goading someone into being angry enough to act without thinking was that it often goaded them into being able to hit much harder than usual. And you could easily find that it didn't matter that they'd left themselves wide open to an attack, your head was spinning too violently for you to take advantage of it.  
  
Such was the case for Alayne.  
  
For example, there were at least three ways that Revan had left herself vulnerable in leaping to punch. Her anger had made her careless. But, by the time Alayne had been aware enough to react, she had already been punched and had been hard pressed to not lose consciousness. She curled into herself, managing to draw her long dagger. There was that at least.  
  
Revan flipped her grip on the blade, readying for a downward thrust. There, again! Totally open while doing it, but there was no way to bring her arm around in time to strike.  
  
She shifted, though. A downward thrust. If she could just get in position in time, she could dodge that! Just a simple move to the side and then she'd be inside Revan's defenses. Strong in the Force the former Sith may be, but no one could avoid a blade at that distance. Alayne had a moment of sheer exhilaration, the realization that it would be incredibly sweet to be within a few inches, staring into Revan's face while death stole over it.  
  
"Don't!" Carth said sharply.  
  
Oh, the loyal puppy. Good. Buy a little time. First the right foot planted and working on the left.  
  
Alayne smiled up to Revan. Yes, anger could lead to stupidity. But it was still a powerful thing to rouse. Compassion, guilt, love, on the other hand. Much easier to exploit and so reliable too. "...you going to kill another person he loves in front of him?"  
  
"Revan, listen to me..." Carth's voice was measured, cautious. Dealing with a wild thing and trying so hard not to spook it.  
  
Alayne really did like the boy. So wonderfully straightforward, so easy to slip in between the cracks of his armor. For all of his protests of paranoia, he really was a very lonely man. It hadn't been hard to take advantage of that with the wiles that any smart female possessed. Add just a touch or two of Force Persuasion and he was hers. Even if he didn't know it yet.  
  
But, no... there'd be no listening here.  
  
"Carth..." Alayne's voice shook, adrenaline building to a critical point and making that feat easy to manage. "She's not going to... she's too fast... Shoot her. Y-you promised..."  
  
"Carth..." Revan's voice was a hoarse echo. The commander was moving, aligning himself to be parallel with them. Revan wouldn't even look at him, the anguish in her eyes almost comical as she realized the trap she'd been put in. That was right. Let their angst consume them. Alayne was ready. And then, a sign, Revan lowered her lightsaber.  
  
Alayne knew what Force inspired terror looked like. She knew Carth did as well. She screamed, allowing her expression to mimic that of her previous victims and let Carth draw the logical gut instinct conclusion. She sprang forward. The lightsaber was out of position, it could never get a...  
  
Oh. Sith, the woman was fast!  
  
The sound of blaster fire! Instinctively, Revan crouched, blade dropping to the left and away from its course for Alayne's face, intercepting the first bolt and sending it flying against the far wall. Yes! Thank you Carth! And Alayne was there.  
  
Her free hand grabbed Revan's shoulder and she pulled her other arm back to thrust the blade between ribs. Revan met her eyes. Alayne didn't know whether it was Revan's realization that she was less than an instant away from having her heart physically cleaved, or the fact that her heart was already metaphorically cleaved because the man she loved was firing on her. Either way, Revan made no move to block the second bolt and no move to block the blade.  
  
Alayne was grinning when she dimly heard the second shot fired and almost instantaneously felt herself violently pushed to the side. Her breath exhaled in a whoosh, her knife falling.  
  
The second push, right on the heels of the first. Like an anvil to her chest. She found that she could not inhale to replace the breath she'd just lost.  
  
She hit the ground bonelessly. Sand, gritty and irritating, cradled the side of her face. In those last seconds Alayne was forced to dimly admit that perhaps paranoia should not be underestimated after all.  
  
Gollo – Well, I tend to be a cliffhanger type gal. If only because I do the short chapter deal. Glad you liked it. And, with Amy's Force Persuade and your request.. how could I not continue quick?  
  
Amy - *nods* Yeah, that was supposed to be a clear clue not to worry that her middle name wasn't Alayne Sue ;) And, her name, like most cannon Sith, means something too :) Of course, its been slightly twisted like Tyrannus, Vader, Sidious, etc, and its German rather than latin based but... Couldn't be too obvious, now, could I? And hopefully I can answer the questions about why everyone jumped to conclusions right off the bat in later chapters. Thank you for all the reviews, Amy. *expression goes blank* Must update soon... 


	17. Chapter 16

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about. Sequel to Things Left Behind.  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Revan stared. Alayne stared back. However, as Alayne was quite dead, she didn't contribute much more than that to the exchange.  
  
Footsteps, quick but not panicked, announced Carth making his way over. Without thinking Revan turned, lightsaber held in a defensive stance. Carth slowed, then stopped. He raised a brow.  
  
He looked older. There were faint lines around his eyes that hadn't been there before. And his expression was so composed. There was nothing of the humor he usually had held. She'd seen that humor buried before, but hardly ever completely absent. So much more contained. So much... harder.  
  
The seconds dragged. She blinked and the extra moisture in her eyes lingered on her lashes. She shook her head sharply and turned away.  
  
"Grab her lightsaber," Carth said.  
  
"Just another robbery attempt gone bad?" Revan said, attempting a light tone. The extra saber was grabbed along with what limited valuables. A few credits, a dose of kolto. She moved to stand and her mouth dropped open to suck in breath at the renewed pain. Kolto. Good thing. She fumbled with the hypo.  
  
A hand at her elbow steadied her. "How bad?" Carth asked.  
  
She shook her head again, "Can't be too bad. Usually when organs are severed, you aren't doing much afterwards."  
  
"Much less showing such a sparkling attempt at humor."  
  
"Evil, twisted, sadistic bastard, but... let no one say I don't have a sense of humor."  
  
Numbness was spreading to replace the pain. The cut was too deep to be solved with just this, but it gave some measure of soothing. She'd heal herself more thoroughly later, somewhere safer.  
  
"Are you?" Carth's voice was by her ear.  
  
"Of course. Otherwise you'd not be tracking me down, right?" Revan said, handing him the spare lightsaber. "Hard enough to hide even one."  
  
"In what you are currently wearing, I'm impressed you can do even that."  
  
Revan smiled. "Never underestimate a Jedi, soldier." It was easy to slip into the old patterns. Familiar. Comforting. But she forced herself to remember that it wasn't real. Verbal dancing to cover up that it was simply patterns. Patterns with perhaps no substance left to them.  
  
"Up to moving yet?" Carth asked. She nodded. "Ebon Hawk is on the landing pad."  
  
Her brow furrowed, "You brought the Hawk? Why?"  
  
"Because people on vacation can't take fleet ships." Carth's answer was dismissive. "You're going to be conspicuous, but can't help that...."  
  
"No. I can make it without being seen. You head out first and I'll follow." Revan said.  
  
Carth looked at her.  
  
He didn't trust her to do that.  
  
She sighed and wrapped her cloak tighter. "If I wanted to give you the slip, Carth, I'd just force persuade you into forgetting you saw me."  
  
"Not weak minded, Revan." Carth returned, "Ask Alayne."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "Yeah. Alayne mentioned a lot of things," she began, then pursed her lips over the thoughts. "Don't have time for this. Let's be simple. As long as you're not trying to take me back to the Jedi Temple, we're fine. Are you?"  
  
"No. Not yet." Carth said quietly.  
  
Not ever. Revan held her tongue on that, however. She nodded. She handed him her lightsaber.  
  
"Whatever you may think of me, Carth, you know I've put too much into that to leave it behind," Revan said. "And the only way off this planet for miles is at that landing pad. If I don't show up within twenty minutes, call your fleet. Quarantine the place if you want. I don't care."  
  
She continued towards the alley exit. She could feel him watching her the whole way, but there was too much pain to really care.  
  
++++++++++++++++++  
  
Carth watched her the entire way, mixed feelings of apprehension tightening his jaw. The headache was already starting behind his temples. He waited a moment, giving her enough time to be clear of the alley entry way. There hadn't been a stealth unit on that cloak, so decent precautions were still in order.  
  
White blonde hair being ruffled by the hot breeze caught his attention.  
  
"Promise me," she'd said. "Carth... promise me you won't let her kill me."  
  
He wondered if everyone who'd had Jedi or Sith play tricks on their minds could hear the words echoing, clearly as if they were being spoken once more. Every intonation, ever rise and fall of her voice. Even that damned faked quaver.  
  
He kept the promise. Though not likely in the way she wanted. It was strange. Tatooine was isolated, backwater, and rural. However, if Alayne had died from lightsaber inflicted wounds, and if what passed for a coroner on this world had recognized it, it would have caused complications. In the forefront of his mind that was his primary reasoning for shooting. That and the fact that he'd seen the knife when Revan obviously had not.  
  
But the fact was he wasn't sure that was the defining reason he'd acted as he did.  
  
"Promise me," she'd said. "Carth... promise me you won't let her kill me."  
  
And her limp hand had fallen outstretched, for all the world looking like it was outstretched to him.  
  
He'd never liked feeling used. And he certainly did not like feeling her fingers brushing along his will, even now.  
  
The urge to kick violently at a corpse was futile and petty. Carth restrained himself and left.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Carth reached the ship first. He checked each compartment to be certain and then, to keep busy, he grabbed an old medical kit down. Time passed. However, he refused to check and see exactly how much time was going by.  
  
His headache got worse.  
  
Finally the deck plates registered someone walking aboard. Arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against one of the consoles in the main bay, he looked up. Revan walked over to the nearest upturned crate and sat.  
  
"I'm a little late," she said.  
  
"Noticed."  
  
Her smile was thin, "Did you call the fleet, then?"  
  
"It was on my list of things to do." Carth said, turning to pick up the med- kit. "Let me take a look."  
  
"Every time I get hurt you want to break out the med kits," Revan said, smiling tiredly. "I can handle it. Save those for more urgent occasions."  
  
He shrugged, "If you think you don't need it." The box was set to the side.  
  
She half closed her eyes. "Go ahead. Ask."  
  
He smiled, a brief flash of an expression. "Don't even know what to ask, Revan," he admitted, "The Jedi seem to think you've gone back to being a Sith. Left to go rouse the remnants or something like that. They've got the fleet looking for you too."  
  
She sighed, "Did I look like I was rousing malcontents?"  
  
Carth coughed discreetly.  
  
Her eyes opened. "Let me rephrase. Did I look like I was rebuilding the Sith forces?"  
  
"Not particularly," Carth said quietly. "So why did you leave? And why didn't you do things a bit more... you had to know that after the death and destruction this war has caused that anything that seemed likely to bring us back to that brink would be handled as a worse case scenario."  
  
"I know that. Believe me, I know that." Revan said, tone sharp. "Every time I didn't meditate right, got angry over being confined, showed annoyance with that twit of a Master trying to teach me to feel less... everything was this huge sign..." she broke off, eyes closing again, "They made me a Smuggler, Carth. They made me the type of person who thrives dancing on the edge of the law, risks, emotions...." She gestured vaguely, "And now they want me to be something else. No matter what I said, they kept telling me it was just a matter of focus. How dangerous it was to not have control over myself."  
  
"It is dangerous to not have control over yourself." Carth said quietly.  
  
Revan leaned forward, though lines of pain shot across her face. "I know that! I'm not an idiot. But you have no idea, Carth. Not at all. Its not, 'Feel angry, but control it', it is 'A Jedi feels no anger.' It is not 'Love, but don't let it make you do stupid things,' it is 'Jedi feel no love'. Tell me that you can do that. Tell me that you can have that type of..." She heard her voice, heard the frustration and desperation, offset by a faint note of panic... She shut her mouth sharply and looked away.  
  
"I couldn't," Carth said, tone very calming. Damn him! "But... Revan... they don't expect miracles from you. You know they don' t mean that those things are never felt. They just mean that you don't feel them the same way. That their presence doesn't effect your judgment and you don't allow them more power than they deserve."  
  
"And who says how much power they deserve?" Revan said, tone tight. "They are mine. I should. Not them. I have no interest in living a life where I cannot laugh out loud if I feel happy. Where I can't be furious when...when a friend gets hurt. I can't do that. I won't."  
  
Carth was silent  
  
Revan bowed her head. "I did everything that they expected of me... that you expected of me. And if I have to hide on some backwater planet dancing for drunks in order to... to not feel like I'm in this cage with ... with everyone watching, waiting for me to fall... I will." She stood up and drew her cloak tight again, "I'm not going back."  
  
The silence stole moments. "I think you should get some rest." Carth said finally.  
  
Revan blinks, "That's your answer?"  
  
"You look tired. You just healed yourself. And you've obviously not been sleeping. You look like you could use some rest." Carth said sensibly.  
  
Her eyes narrowed, "And you think that because I'm tired, I'm not thinking clearly."  
  
"The thought has crossed my mind," he admitted.  
  
"What is it that you want me to do, Carth. What is it that you want from me that you don't think I'm rational enough to handle?"  
  
"I want you to come back with me. Just to speak with the council." Carth said clearly.  
  
"No."  
  
"Revan, you can't keep running. And the Council has certainly dealt with situations like this before..."  
  
"The hell they have!" Revan could feel herself starting to breath more rapidly.  
  
"Not exactly," Carth amends, "But..."  
  
"And what if their decision is to just wipe my mind again? Hey, Smuggler Revan's done her job cleaning up the galaxy, let's make Meek Jedi Revan next..."  
  
"Revan..."  
  
"There can be a whole line up. Sith Revan, Smuggler Revan, Meek Obedient Jedi Revan..."  
  
"Revan..."  
  
"What Carth, wanting to put in your order?"  
  
"How about Calm and Able to Listen, Revan." He said, walking a few paces over to her.  
  
"Eh. Sorry. But that version has been manipulated one too many times..."  
  
Carth barked a laugh, "Oh, come on, now. I've been manipulated too, and I'm still willing to listen to you."  
  
"And you still get taken in by every damn Sith in a five block radius!" Revan threw back without thinking, "Or is it that you just can't meet a Force using woman without the desire to call her gorgeous and invite her over for breakfast?"  
  
The smile on Carth's face was instantly gone.  
  
Revan swallowed. Shit. She hadn't meant to say it. Not like that. This wasn't the way to talk about this. This wasn't the time to bring this up.  
  
It didn't need to be brought up.  
  
Ever.  
  
She bit her lip. Carth.  
  
His expression was achingly cold.  
  
"I'm sorry, Carth." She said, voice strangled. "Look, maybe you are right. Maybe I am too tired. Just ... please promise me that if I do sleep ... you won't take me anywhere closer to the council?"  
  
A muscle in his jaw was twitching. He turned and began to walk to the cockpit. "We need to get off of Tattooine. I'm taking us to Manaan."  
  
"...hate Manaan." Revan said, smiling without humor to herself.  
  
Carth didn't answer but disappeared from view.  
  
"I... "Revan stood and walked a few paces after him. "I am..." She called after. No response and her voice dropped. She rubbed at her aching forehead, "I'm sorry."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++  
  
For some quirk of the review page, there were a couple of chapter 15 reviews that I didn't see until just now. There /may/ be reviews that are still not coming in right. If I miss responding to a review, I'm sorry! Including responses to the ones I did see here, since I feel bad they didn't get responded to before!  
  
Nima Onasi - *grins* Glad you are still liking it. Trying not to be tooo predictable. Though I hate to say it, there is likely to be a cliff hanger ending to this story too. :)  
  
Athenaprime - *nods* Thanks for the reassurance about Alayne. Granted, she's now a bit out of action, but... I have a feeling she won't go gently ;)  
  
Shadow39 – More as requested. I even have a chapter ahead written. Just waiting long enough to build anticipation. Of course... I've never been good at waiting. It should be up shortly ;)  
  
Amy – Darn right! I mean, yah, Revan's exhausted, paranoid, world weary, and angsting over our favorite Republic Boy but... darn it! She's still Revan ;) Oh, and the german is a stretch. I played with the spelling so much. But Verräter means betrayer. 


	18. Chapter 17

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Remnants - Chapter 17  
  
Four hours later Revan was still staring at the ceiling. She'd gone to lay down, seeing too many ghosts while roaming to remain walking aimlessly through the ship. As she'd settled on her old bunk she'd eyed the bag of what had to be Alayne's things.  
  
Later.  
  
Carth was right. She hadn't been sleeping. Too worried, too anxious, too keyed up since her not-so daring flight from the Temple. Every sound had been a Jedi, every ripple of the Force across her senses attack... No. There'd been little to no sleep.  
  
And even now that she was here, aboard someplace that had always been safe to her and with someone who'd always done his best to protect her...  
  
Her mind dwelt on Carth. Then it dwelt on Alayne. Then it dwelt on Carth and Alayne and she cursed the fact that she'd always been a very visual thinker. She went over the brief conversation she'd had with the Sith and argued for the truth of the words, and then tested the opposing theory that they'd been lies as well.  
  
Revan was fairly sure that Alayne hadn't been lying.  
  
She sat up and rubbed her eyes lightly. It was cold. But, she refused to wear anything Alayne had left behind. However, there was a chance there were other pieces of clothing that may have been left to languish. A brief search revealed a rather plain tunic and some leggings. She imagined it must have belonged to Mission. Once she'd had a bit of money, she had left behind simpler clothing for things more her 'style'.  
  
Standing in the room, listening to the engines hum, was hypnotic. However, it was also pointless. She didn't know how long she stood there, lulled and half aware, but she eventually shook herself free. She exited the room, running her left hand along the corridor as she walked. Once more, she traveled the ship, revisiting areas and memories. Everywhere but the bridge.  
  
She couldn't avoid him forever.  
  
The doorway was perfect for lingering. In the reflection of the glass, she could see that Carth was sprawled in the pilot's chair, head pressed against the console beside him. At first she wasn't sure he was awake, but he opened his eyes out to the stars. And to her image.  
  
He didn't speak. But, then again, she didn't blame him.  
  
"It was out of line for me to say that." Revan began without preamble, diving in. "And I am sorry. My only is excuse is that, even though it's been a long time and I know that things are... very different now... I was a bit jealous." She smiled mirthlessly, "Don't say that this proves your point about emotions, alright? It is my fault. Alayne said some things that I allowed to get to me." She raised her chin a little, then met his eyes, "But the fact is that you do mean a lot to me, Carth. And, I'm sorry that, for some twisted reason, I keep being the cause of people you care about dying. It's something... I'd never want to do to you," her jaw tightened, "I don't know if you can believe that, but its true."  
  
"Malak ordered the attack on Telos, Dustil made his own choices to fire, and the only care I had for Alayne was a lie." Carth said evenly. "You have horrible timing, Revan. But you aren't the only one bearing responsibility."  
  
Revan was at a loss for words for a moment. "You really mean that? Or are you just wanting to believe it?"  
  
"I always knew it but sometimes that isn't always enough." Carth said, expression still revealing nothing, "Just because you understand something, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to... think about it. And while I never did understand why you didn't try to talk Dustil out of firing, sometimes there aren't people around to talk you out of things. Dustil... still had to face that choice on his own. He did and he decided... "  
  
Revan closed her eyes and shook her head, "It was a family argument, Carth," she said, voice almost pleading. This same guilt, again. When had he learned to guard himself in stone so well? The pauses in his speech were poignant and she knew, she knew, he still grieved for his son. But where as before all his emotions were displayed in Technicolor for the world, now there was only this brief halt, brief hitch in his tone audible for one who was looking. When? "I didn't think I had a right to say anything. Who was I to have any opinion on your life and his? And... I thought that if I spoke up... he loved his mother very much, Carth. To see some other woman defending you, obviously caring about you.... I didn't think that would help."  
  
Carth's expression wavered irresolutely, "You were trying to be polite?"  
  
"Well. No. Not polite. But... I just didn't want to interfere. Or make it worse."  
  
Carth's lips twitched. ".... Revan. Of all the things that are associated with your name, non-interference does not spring to mind."  
  
"I don't interfere!" Revan protested, automatically, without thinking. Carth smirked. She rubbed at her eyes and found herself chuckling a breath, "It's never been my intention to interfere, anyway...."  
  
"Right. Ms. Tell-me-more-about-yourself."  
  
She snorted, "You were being a defensive and stand-offish," She raised her chin and looked down at him with a mock haughty expression, "Besides, if you really wanted to keep a secret, you'd of lied. Just telling someone you don't want to talk is like blood in the water, my friend..."  
  
"So I've learned," he said dryly.  
  
Revan did not know what he meant by that. She raked her fingers through her hair in the silence. She shifted her weight, uncomfortably. "Well. I'll stop /interfering/ and let you get back to piloting..." she said finally, lightly.  
  
"Or you could sit and keep me company." Carth responded without hesitation.  
  
Revan half smiled, "You were right about one thing. I am tired. I'm likely to fall asleep on you."  
  
"I think I could handle that."  
  
Revan moved to sit in the co-pilot's seat, drawing up a leg to make herself comfortable. Carth took a second to check on their course and speed. As his arm reached out, Revan caught the line of a faint scar across the back of his hand.  
  
Her brow furrowed, "What happened?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." Carth deadpanned.  
  
Revan's consequent rude and anatomically difficult response was mitigated by her laughter.  
  
Carth grinned and raised a hand defensively. "Alright, alright. Have you ever heard of the Ascendi system? Its home to the most priggish, stuck up, hide-bound planet in the galaxy..."  
  
There... that was the way she was used to him speaking and reacting! Revan listened, drinking in the details as he spoke, his expression open again. When the tension started to slip from her form and mind, she didn't notice, too preoccupied by the timbre of his voice. Likewise, she didn't quite recognize when her eyes began to slowly half lid. She fell asleep, safe enough for the first time in a long time, to allow herself to do so.  
  
++++++++  
  
Schally – Thanks! I debated whether I'd be able to make the rest of the story match those lines. But, after much angsting, it worked alright :) Writing as quick as my blonde-muse will let me.  
  
Gollo – Glad you liked the last chapters. Combat isn't my strong point, but padded it as much as I could. My excuse was that Alayne was primarily messing with people's minds focused, not combat. Hence, easy slice and dice. And, Carth and Revan look to be on talking terms again. Of course, what that means is still up in the air ;)  
  
Amy – Yeah. Carth kind of had a feeling. The way I figured it, if /you/ were as paranoid as he tends to at least /wants/ to be... you'd realize when you were acting out of character. You may not be able to stop the influence, but you'd know it was there. And Revan as a Cantina dancer? Hey, she danced decently with that Twilek ;) Plus, it's not exactly where anyone would look. The Jedi Council is going to be the interesting point. There are so many views on how they'd react. /Most/ of them negative. But we know that Tyrannus was once a Jedi. And left the order with no repercussions. Now, granted, one assumes his darkness had been totally hidden. But, what's always struck me is that the council knows Revan hasn't had the indoctrination that all other Jedi have. They have to know that this might not work... so what's the back up plan? And why didn't they just give her the memories of a Padawan Jedi? I mean... come on? Besides the fact that its funner to play this way... heheh. 


	19. Chapter 18

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
Chapter 18  
  
The Master was not pleased. The apprentice who awaited orders, awaited the word of the Master to define purpose, could feel it. But it wasn't clear why. Fear skittered around the Apprentice's temples. If the Master was upset, then the world itself was upset. The world itself was wrong.

"Master..." The words entered the room with the dark robed Sith. He bent on one knee before the throne and, though he'd entered so precipitously, he knew enough not to try and speak further until acknowledged. 

"Tell me." 

The man stood, "Alayne has failed, Master." 

"I know. I could feel it." The woman's voice was flat. 

The man who'd delivered the bad news shifted his weight. "There is a woman. Strong in the force." He said finally, "She wishes to speak with you. She says that where Alayne failed, she will not." 

The Master raised a brow, "Really. Such bold words. Bring her in. And, don't be a fool about it Ruhs. She is to be stripped of all weapons, everything and anything."

"Yes, my master." He turned and left, quickly. The silence waited and the apprentice risked glancing over at his Master. Her beautiful face was pale, dark lines edging around her cheek bones. There was a measure of anticipation hovering about her lips. 

When the Sith returned, they were flanking a smaller woman. Her brown hair was pulled back, elegantly, though strands framed an aristocratic face. Dark eyes were watchful and faintly arrogant. 

"So. Who are you and why should I let you live?" The Master said easily. 

"I'm someone who can help you." The woman responded, undaunted. "You were wise to send someone to try and find Revan. But wise or not, the situation has changed. With Carth's influence, Revan may indeed be persuaded to return to the order. And she will represent a strong force to be overcome..."

"You tread a dangerous line, assuming that I cannot reach out my hand and end her." The Master's voice remained smooth. 

"Of course you can." The woman stepped closer, voice quieting, "But perhaps it would be best to let her live. For now you have the Jedi Council and Revan to worry with. You could fight both. Either on two fronts or on one if they ally again. But I say, let them fight each other again. Even with her returning to them, they can still be made to lose themselves in conflicts. If you had, say, a Jedi close to the Counci - close to Revan - who could keep attention focused on her. Make her distraction that can not be ignored. You see how easy it could be. Do not kill her. Make her presence a thing that benefits you... I can do that for you. I know both the council and Revan. They will not be hard to manipulate. Entertain them with each other and we regain the time we need to rise again."

"Interesting. And what do you gain from this?" 

Dark eyes burned, "Everything." She gestured to the side, "I am tired of being less than I am. I have power. Power that Revan and her blumbering can't even approach. And yet she gains. She ... She dares look down on me for my choices and my uses of that power. No one does that. I won't let them." 

The Master smiled thinly, "Keep the Council distracted with Revan. And Revan distracted with the Council, and you will be rewarded. Kill Revan at the time that is most opportune for us, and you will be rewarded greatly. And, of course, you will be telling us what we need to know about the Council's moves."

"Of course." 

The Sith Lord rose, "I am Yuthera Ban. You may call me your master now." 

The lithe Jedi bowed, "I am Bastila, and I am yours to command. Master."

Marna – Thanks for taking the time to renew. I'd been feeling so very separated from the fict, I actually did need the kick in the butt. Thanks... 

Becky4 – Alayne was a bit of a tightrope. I very badly didn't want people thinking I was starting a Mary Sue so... tried to make it more the 'Carth! Don't go in the closet!' type thing instead. Glad you have liked the pacing and characterizations though. I noticed it got harder once Revan and Carth were together. Darn them! 

Xan – Thanks! Trying to keep up the good work here :) 

Feza's Twin – I know its been a while, and I'm sorry. But here's a bit more! 

Mara Jade2 – Can't lose the old Carth completely. That would be tragic! But I think Revan's going to have a harder time figuring him out than before. More than likely cause she's not even sure about herself still. 

Amy – I envy you the Kalua. Even if I can't spell it right. :) Thanks for the time to review.  



	20. Chapter 19

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.  
  
"...and then, no lie, he turns around and tells us that he'd left it back in the ship." Carth's voice held the traditional lilt for the crescendo of a tale, but it was muted and quiet. Revan's eyes had been closed for a very long time but he didn't feel like examining the reasons that had kept him talking.  
  
He'd gotten used to folding himself into the sometimes unforgiving lines of the pilot's seat for long hours - catching sleep whenever possible and finding a position that wouldn't leave him crippled when he woke. However, she hadn't and she'd ache in the morning if she kept sleeping like that.  
  
He stood and moved to pick up the sleeping Jedi. The moment his hand took her arm, her eyes snapped open. However, before he could do much more than begin to reassure her, she squinted, scanned his face, and promptly closed her eyes again.  
  
"... I'll take that as a compliment," he muttered, smirking. He picked her up and started to make his way back to the rooms. It seemed that Revan, once certain of her company, was content to remain asleep and oblivious. She didn't stir again, even when Carth banged his elbow against the way and unsuccessfully stifled his automatic need to swear. He lay her down on the bunk and pulled a blanket over her. Then he slowly sat down beside her.  
  
This wasn't unfamiliar. On Taris, he'd had days to watch her as she lay, unconscious. Days of plotting, pacing, wondering if the woman that he kept trying to force water into would ever wake up. Running through scenarios of how to save Bastila first with an ally, and then alone. He half smiled, remembering that first distrustful, and then incredulous look she'd given him when she had woke up, and heard she'd been unconscious for days. As any gentleman would, he brushed by the details of the logistics in the actual nursing for those days. It'd been easy. She was a fellow soldier. Nothing else. And back then that was simple to remember and abide by.  
  
The dark hair around her face kept distracting him. He reached forward and brushed an errant strand away from her cheek, vaguely unsettled by the absence of auburn where he instinctively kept expecting it to be.  
  
That this did unsettle him, even if on a basic level, prompted a chain of more prickling realizations – the echo of it bouncing and forcing him to acknowledge the lack of other things. Now that she was here, he could feel all of the other things he'd been missing. About her.  
  
He remembered how, so long ago, there'd been some play. A saccharine and overly sweet concoction of true love, heroics and evil defeated. What was that line? Oh. Something about "I never knew I was so empty, to be so filled..."  
  
He let his hand drop from her face with a mildly wry expression. A yawn followed soon enough and he moved to stand. Enough sentiment. He trusted the auto-pilot, but he still felt strongly about being in the bridge to take care of anything that might come up. If he was very lucky, maybe when Revan woke she'd make breakfast or something. He hesitated though, eyes still on her form. He didn't want to leave. More than anything he wished he could just lie down next to her. Shut his eyes. Just be for a few hours. But he knew better. He relaxed and moved to pull the blanket up just a little higher on her form. "Good night, Alay..."

* * *

Revan drifted in a world of soft sounds and impressions. Timeless and relaxed, there was no disorientation when she finally found her way back to consciousness. She awoke feeling much better than she had the past few nights.  
  
She awoke to see a dark haired form sitting on the floor by the bed. "Hey..."  
  
"Morning."  
  
She stretched a little. "Force, I must have been sleeping deep in order for you to get me all the way in here." She paused and looked down to her feet. Her lips quirked, "Though, Carth? While I appreciate the gallantry... next time I swear you can take my boots off. My honor won't be sullied."  
  
"A boot to the face wasn't in line with my goals in putting you to bed."  
  
"Ah, I couldn't possibly damage such a face." Revan said, but her smile was fading. He hadn't turned to look at her yet. It was just teasing. Their normal... teasing.  
  
Carth moved to stand up. "But broken noses give character. Hey, I got to go check on where we are. We should be getting close soon." He turned to leave, but not before she saw the circles under his eyes. She scrambled out of the bed, only to find herself standing, staring after an empty doorway as he left.  
  
No.  
  
Not this time.  
  
Revan's jaw tightened and she strode after the pilot. "Carth." She said, tone sharp. She saw his shoulders tighten in anticipation.  
  
"What, Revan?"  
  
She came up behind him and he slowly turned. She pursed her lips together as she looked up at him. Gods... she must be mad. Maybe she was. But he said he didn't hold Dustil against her, he hadn't come to shoot her and take her in, he'd asked for her to stay and told her stories, and he'd carried her to bed, then waited all night beside her. That had to mean something.  
  
Maybe it could mean something. Even if she didn't know why he looked as haunted as he did.  
  
She raised her hand to his face and her fingers skimmed the roughened cheek bone. "I'm here." She said, words given an emphasis – the weight of things she wasn't sure how to verbalize. "Its... going to be alright."  
  
"..... That's my line, isn't it?"  
  
Her lips quirked, "Its Tuesday. My turn."  
  
He chuckled and closed his eyes. "Damn..." He reached and took her hand in his. Then he leaned forward and kissed her lightly.  
  
Then the kiss wasn't so light.

* * *

Xan – Well. We couldn't forget about good old Bastila forever, now could we? Grins

Schally – Yuthera's conversion was nice... but could have easily been over turned. After all, the academy was such a pretty place to hold court ;) Glad to see your still reading and liking.

Shadow39 - laughs Glad you like it! I promise I'll do my best to keep getting more interesting!

Prisoner 24601 – Thank you for reviewing. I really appreciate it. And, that was the first comment I'd gotten on the incorporation of the FF bit. So I'm very glad that you liked it. Part of me wants to try to bring them back in, but I think it'd be difficult to do so without losing the momentum. Still... a scene with Juhani and crew could be of use. After all, she would have found them. Eventually ;)


	21. Chapter 20

Standard Disclaimers – Lucas, Bioware, and many other people own the Star Wars universe and the KOTOR world. Not me. All I own is my interpretation of events and characters and, hey, we all know that there are tons of those out there. Soo... Here we are.

Remnants

He was being kissed. He smiled and obligingly returned the gesture though he was more asleep than not. His dreams had no form and there was no speculation or acknowledgement of just whose lips were against his. It simply was a distant pleasing sensation.

A woman's voice was also drifting through, soft background that didn't really intrude. The tone was low, turning the words to a velvety type sensation to be felt and the threat that they spoke to something easily dismissed. Until hands touched bare skin.

"Don't you dare!" Carth said, eyes opening abruptly.

Revan grinned down at him, hand still on his side along his ribs. "He awakes," she teased.

"Imminent danger usually does that to me." Carth groaned and moved his hand to hers as if to stop her from carrying out her plans.

"Hey, physical violence was not my first resort." Revan said, "I tried calling, kissing, and various other activities before deciding that only tickling could accomplish the goal."

"I'm tired." Carth protested, a partial whine.

"I'm mean." Revan returned, smirking.

Carth laughed, "Somehow I think agreeing to that would be a mistake."

"Likely." Revan agreed. She settled back, taking her hand from his side with only the faintest of shyness breaking through. Her expression sobered. "But, we're on approach to Corescant. Thought you might want to get ready, or to pilot us in yourself."

Carth sat up, "Corescent?"

"About fifteen minutes."

He studied her for a moment. She obviously had been awake long enough to make the course change, she was composed and neat. But her expression enigmatic, matter of fact.

"Last time we talked, you said that you'd prefer not to go back." Carth stated the obvious, testing the waters.

"And you said that I should." Revan shrugged.

"Since when did you ever simply do what I asked?" Carth raised a brow. She started to smile in a blatantly meaningful manner and he snorted lips twitching, "Besides that," he added quickly.

She laughed a breath but the humor didn't carry the moment beyond the topic very far. There was a brief silence. "I can pass for a cantina girl. You can't." Her tone was simple. She moved to stand. He sat up.

"Revan, even you couldn't have hidden forever," he said quietly.

"Hell, yes, I could have." She grinned at him, "You, on the other hand... But, look. Can we just drop it? We're almost there. You keep questioning me on this and I just might change my mind."

He made a hands off gesture and nodded, "Alright. We'll leave it for now." He stood and moved to grab his pants from the floor. Revan looked off to the side, arms awkwardly crossing over her chest. Again, he started to smile. Her uncertainty of where to look and how to act now, with him like this, was quite endearing. Especially when working to make such situations common place was something he was greatly looking forward to.

"I was trying to wake you up for a while there, you know." Revan said, casually. "You were dead to the world."

"Yeah, well. Not all of us have Jedi constitutions." Carth said deliberately smirking.

Her cheeks flushed faintly, but she tossed her head, "Yes, well. I'll forgive you, I suppose."

"I'm forever grateful. Did you give our destination to port control?" Carth pulled on his shirt. Revan didn't answer right away and he gave her a curious look. She shook her head in the negative.

"No. Didn't think it'd be smart. I thought we should just arrive..."

"Its your call, beautiful. But I'd think that interrupting the Masters with a messenger pelting in that Revan is waiting on the landing pad is likely to put them in a sour mood." Carth noted.

Revan began to pace. "I suppose. But if we warn them, that gives them time to plan how..."

"How to what?" Carth grabbed his boots.

The Jedi looked up at him, eyes narrow. "How to separate us." She opened her mouth to say more, but shifted her weight uneasily before finding the words, "I know that they will likely want to talk to me alone. I'm not asking you to ..."

"Hey, if you want me there, I'm there." Carth said quietly, "Simple as that."

Her lips curved upward faintly, "It won't be."

"It can be. The rank has to be useful for something."

She didn't move. Her dyed hair was pulled back from her face, an even worse contrast with her natural coloring that way, the cast off teenager's tunic a little too tight, and the lightsaber hanging at her hip - an utterly incongruous weapon for such a person. However, though she was perfectly still, the impression that was given was not peace by any means.

He stepped forward and cupped her face in his hand, "There isn't anything to be afraid of. Because I won't let them hurt you. I promise."

She turned her head slightly to his touch and inhaled, closing her eyes as she did so. "I'm not a child," she said softly, without sharpness or edge, "If it comes down to it, I can defend myself. Knowing that you'd ... be... there means everything. Knowing that you believe in me is everything. But some battles can't be won by fighting. Those are the ones I'm worried about." She opened her eyes to look at him, intently. For a moment it seemed like she might say more, but kept the silence instead.

"Revan, believe me, I've been thinking about this since I first starting looking for you." Carth met the gaze without hesitation. "The Jedi think you've gone over to the dark side. As long as they think that, they'll never stop looking for you. But once they know why you really left..."

"They'll believe me?"

"I believe you."

"I know," she whispered, smiling a little.

"I won't let them hurt you." Carth repeated and his jaw clenched. "I won't lose you."

Her eyes widened a fraction and she rallied, unwilling to watch those shadows tighten his face again, unwilling to make him face the prospect that neither of them may have a choice in the matter. She raised her hand to his along side her face. "No. No, you won't."

He nodded, the motion a bit stiff but the smile he forced a valiant effort. His fingers twisted to twine in hers and he dropped his hand.

"Besides," he said gruffly, "Even if the dancing thing is out, we could just turn pirate."

"If it means you'll go back to being slightly scruffy looking, I'm all for it."

"Hey, its not my fault that the military prefers a clean shave..."

"You've been away from your ship for at least a couple weeks now. Would it kill you to miss a day?"

"It might. Possibly."

They walked towards the cockpit, banter gaining strength and sincerity as they went. It was enough. For the moment.

Ten minutes later, the Ebon Hawk set down at the Jedi Temple.

* * *

Okay guys... I apologize for the delay. And, I hope you forgive me for any 'back in the saddle' roughness.

Arrow – Here is a bit more to read, as requested. A bit later, but... still something. And what some people call pushiness others call... initiative? Hehe. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Revan can be hard to characterized cause she goes SO Mary Sue so easy.. thanks for the encouragement!

Ilirium - Thanks! Carth is my favorite character (as I'm sure has been guessed) and Revan's just annoying to write sometimes – so hearing that their interaction is working is absolutely like chocolate to my soul! Now, when I'd started this the editor here didn't have a nifty way to make the breaks. It does now so that should be cleared up to be less jarring. Thanks for point it out. And while the pauses may be lengthy, I promise I'll do my best to finish it, I know that some of my favorite stories were abandoned (one I still mourn. Why Valerie? Why!?) and wouldn't want to do the same. The encouragement helps. :)

Leifeng – Now now.... Poor Bastila has been through an awful lot. And she has not yet walked the full course of her destiny! Not yet, anyway.

Avierra – I suppose it all depended on how Revan was played, but there was definitely the chance for her to have some issues with the tranquil life. And Carthy-Goodness – I'll have to use that phrase!

Brynn – I'll admit, that it took me a while to warm up to Bastila. Now I'm finding it interesting to see where she's heading. Thanks for taking the time to review!

Shadow39 – Umm... Yes, its several months late, but... here you go! grins Thanks for the enthusiasm :)

Firera - toe twisting in the sand Soon is relative? Again, I can't always promise frequent updates, but I promise I'll not abandon it? Thank you for reviewing... Going back over and seeing that people really did like it is what's motivating me to go on :)

Sammie teufel – Its knocked me to the ground a few times. But I've come back to bite its ear :) Thanks for reviewing and continuing to review. Helps me get past the writer's block.

ModernPonine – I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. All I was really wanting to do was to take the story line that was in my head, getting me lost in it, and see if other people might like it as well. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not messing up things in the translation ;)


	22. Chapter 21

Standard Disclaimers – Star Wars belongs to Lucas and Bioware owns the game along with who else knows. The point is that I own none of it and am not making a cent off of it. Thanks!

Remnants

* * *

The cargo bay door lowered, natural light entering in an arc precisely dictated by the angle of the sun against the descending metal. Revan felt every degree that the door was lowered. Every degree was another degree of panic.

Carth seemed much calmer, simply standing there. She didn't know whether it was his belief that the Council would decide something fair and decent or military training giving him an edge on keeping his head in bad situations that allowed him to do this. Either way, it was all at once comforting and annoying.

But the door was moving quickly, despite the way it felt. The metallic clunk as it met landing pad vibrated through the deck plates at her feet.

There is no fear.

She squared her shoulders and summoned all her bravado. She sauntered down the gangplank, Carth a step behind and to her right.

Six Jedi were waiting for them, only a few yards from the ship. Beyond them, two more stood by the door into the complex.

"Welcome back, Revan." The accent was unmistakable, even before the Cathar moved forward to draw attention to herself. Juhani stood, her bearing that of a bright weapon as always. She smiled. "And greetings to you as well, Carth."

"Hello, Juhani. Have to say I'm surprised to see you here. Weren't you off trying to find Canderous?" Carth grinned, nodding to the woman.

"I found him. After you, apparently." The Jedi noted, somewhat pointedly.

"Yeah, well..." Carth hedged.

"A very interesting crew," Juhani left it at that, "But Canderous claimed to know nothing of where you'd gone." Her eyes moved to Revan, "And I felt in the Force that it would be best to return. I see why, now, of course. How else could I be here to see you return?"

"Its nice that the Council agreed with your assessment of the will of the Force." Revan's tone was droll, eyes moving to the other Jedi, "Though I doubt that all of you felt compelled by the Force to just happen to be here?"

"They are here merely as a precaution." Juhani said firmly, "And the sooner you meet with the Council, the sooner it will be realized they are not needed."

"In that case, I suppose we shouldn't keep them waiting." Revan said non-committal. Juhani seemed utterly sincere. It was a shame that she couldn't say she shared the same confidence. She forced a smile however and moved to follow Juhani inside.

* * *

The Council sat, composed, as the trio entered. Carth hadn't asked if he could come with them and no one had forbidden it.

Walking into the circular chamber was like nothing Revan could quite explain. She'd been there before, upon first arriving and being assigned her new Master. But it seemed so long ago. She's forgotten the sheer power of .... peacefulness ... that pervaded this place. The Force was strong here, and while her fears did not leave her, they became more identifiable, easier to disassociate from.

She wasn't sure she liked that.

The Council members themselves were garbed alike, bearing similar expressions. Revan dryly realized that, for all intents and purposes, they didn't need to be individualized. They were acting as a unit in these proceedings.

"Welcome home, Padawan."

"Master," she inclined her head politely to Council in general.

"We appreciate you assistance, Commander, in escorting this Padawan back to the Temple."

"Revan decided to come back on her own. I just piloted the ship." Carth said firmly.

"True, perhaps. But she did not make this decision until you approached her, I assume?"

"The details of the situation, from start to finish, would be appreciated." A younger looking Council member followed up the subtle maneuver smoothly.

"From which one of us?" Revan returned a bit sharply.

"From you both, of course, Padawan." The Master did not even blink. "We will hear all the details from you both. In due time. Commander? If you would?"

"I set the Hawk down on..."

"Excuse me, but, no. Let's go back a bit further than that, shall we? When did you first hear that Padawan Revan had rejected the order?"

Revan winced at the wording. This was going to take a very long time.

* * *

The time passed but Revan honestly couldn't tell how much. Thirty minutes or three hours, it all felt the same. She glanced over to Carth surreptitiously. Yes, he looked about how she felt. As if every drop of information had been drained and every angle of emotion had been gently but oh so firmly excised.

"Padawan." The Council called her attention back to heel. "You keep saying that you felt trapped here. That your intentions were not motivated by a fall to the dark side, or even a rejection of our teachings, but simply a need to feel less... hemmed in?"

"I wouldn't say simply." Revan felt that the distinction was needed.

"Hemmed in by the Jedi way." A Master pointed out. "By our teachings and codes."

She was tired. "I tried, alright. I tried but I am not the type of person who can turn off what I feel like a damn droid. I feel what I feel and no one has the right to tell me that I shouldn't feel it!" Her voice broke, eyes flashing.

"It is not a censure of feeling, Padawan. If that is all you have learned in your time here, I wonder if you were ever truly listening. A Jedi is ever focused on feeling. It is through our feelings that we sense and touch the Force. It is simply a matter of which feelings you attend to. It is your refusal to let go of your anger, your fear, and your pain that keeps you in constant proximity to the dark side. You leave open the path that you walked before."

Revan could feel her hands clenching into fists and she involuntarily took a step forward, knowing that she was only proving their point. Her voice, when she found it, was tightly controlled, "That is another thing. The constant guilt. I did not turn to the dark side. I have never turned to the dark side. I spent months bleeding, killing, fighting for you, for your peace, your Jedi, your ideals. And I never fell. I even brought people back from that path! You keep trying to make me... make me bear this hideous weight of what Revan was. That's the thing you have smothering me. You keep trying... to reform Revan. But you /made/ me Jaia. That's who I am. I don't deserve this!"

"Does the fact that you do not remember the warmth of innocent blood on your hands take away that blood?" Voice oh so smooth, oh so gentle.

Revan stared.

"That's not fair..." Carth snapped.

"But it is true. You have great power, Revan. You allowed yourself to be led by your feelings to the dark side where you did commit horrible acts and bring about the deaths of millions. Then you were given the gift of ignorance. Allowed to live a time without that guilt, without that punishment. But those beings are still dead. The Republic is still recovering from the aftermath of the conflict you brought. In honor of those deeds, of those that died, do you really think it is such a extraordinary thing to ask that you dedicate the rest of your life to helping out the Republic you nearly destroyed, and eradicating those things that will, in time, lead you back to the darkness you are trying so desperately to distance yourself from?"

Revan felt as if she'd been punched, eyes widened and mouth dropping as she struggled to find a way to even approach answering such a loaded question. But she had no answer.

"You're stacking the deck." Carth retorted, gesturing sharply. "You can't just..."

"The question was not for you, Commander. Padawan. Answer."

Revan shook her head a little, trying desperately to find one. She forced herself to inhale slowly. "Those people are still dead. I would do everything I could to ... make those things right. I went after Malak because... I came to believe it was the right thing to do." Her gaze flickered to Carth briefly, gaining a foothold and then back to the Council. "I didn't do it to atone. But I think that if you are going to drag up my negative past and call it relevant, you need to give the same weight to the positive. Neither cancels out the other but they are both there. One is who I was, the other is who I am. I don't think its too high a price to... continue trying to help. I....just... The Jedi way isn't just trying to help. Its a death... it'd be the death of me I can't... I'm not a Jedi. I'm a Smuggler...I can't..."

Warm fingers found hers and held her hand tightly. She breathed a laugh even though she knew that the gesture was a mistake. The Council already knew, it was entirely too obvious, how she felt about Carth. But that she could need his strength so, and that he knew her, read her well enough to give it... didn't help matters. Still, she couldn't help but be pathetically grateful for it regardless. She clung to his hand.

"We agree. You can't." Flat. Stark.

Revan's stomach rolled at the implications. She felt Carth tense beside her.

"Revan..." A previously silent Master said quietly, "You were told that we normally don't take apprentices beyond a certain age, correct?"

"Yes. And I know why. Years of training, years of having your morals formed to believe that ... a death of your own will, desires, is possible without a death of self." Revan spoke quickly, "I know that this.. what you are saying I need to do is possible. But every time I tried to void out all of those things in me... It hurt. They are too precious to me. They mean to much. And I can't let it go without feeling like I'm losing everything."

The Council member nodded, "Exactly. When your mind was fragmented, we decided that the best course would be to give you a chance to become something better than what you'd fallen to. We did not wish to kill you, to cut off the possibility of your life. But, we did decide to cut off the possibility of your falling again."

Revan blinked.

The council member sighed. "Revan, we are neither foolish nor cruel. You were never meant to return to the Jedi. We did not alter your personality as you have so feared. Revan was always charismatic, eager, a little too inclined to seek excitement and adventure. Would it surprise you to hear that she felt very strongly about helping people? You are Revan, Padawan. You simply have different memories."

"Wait a minute, wait." Carth said, "You assigned her to Bastila. To help her find the Star Forge. What do you mean you never meant for her to return to the Jedi?"

"We did think that Revan, as Jaia, could yet be of use. Without training, without knowing the gifts were hers, she would be unable to focus and truly use the Force in anyway that could be a threat. But, unconsciously, she may draw upon it and count herself lucky, or intuitive. She had the answers, even if she did not know it." The Council member paused, "When Bastila told the Jedi at the enclave that not only had the Force been manifesting itself in small ways, but that the dreams were being shared... Whether she was meant to be privy to Bastila's mission or not, she now knew. The destruction of Taris was a horrible thing. Time was growing shorter for the Republic and it was decided that Bastila alone could not accomplish this mission. We took the chance that Jaia could be trained as a Jedi and the faults that had led her to the dark side could be compensated for." Dark eyes focused on Revan. "And, in a way, they have. You did not fall in your battle with Malak and with the revelation of your past, but you accomplished all that we hoped."

Another member picked up the thread, voice hard, "But it does place us back where we were before. Revan, with her passions, love, and will, cannot follow the Jedi way. Her power will corrupt her, and all the good she has accomplished will be wiped out by the evil."

"So where does that leave us?" Carth demanded.

"It leaves us with a choice. It leaves, you, Revan, with a choice..."

* * *

Okay, I'm on a roll! It was anticipating this chapter that was keeping me in place. The details of unfolding the argument, how on earth was I going to deal with all the Council and their names, blah blah blah blah. Hopefully it wasn't too painful to read!

Ether-fanfic – Glad you are enjoying the story! Bastila definitely has some things going on :) Too bad she doesn't have a Carth to steer her right, eh?

Prisoner 24601 – I'm glad you are still with me! We are about... 2-3 chapters from the end here. Of course... there is always more after it, eh? :) Thanks for the feedback and support :)

Brynn – Its not easy for Bastila, I imagine. She's always been so controlled, so sure of herself and her morals. But now, she's broken everything she'd thought she was. Ayup. Gotta change a person. And what did you think, then? :)

Sammie Teufel – Oh dear..... Oh dear.... face palms Yes, I do suppose that is going to be quite the ...um... hehehe.. scene. eyes glitter Though, let's be honest. Remember how "Things left behind" ended? This story will have a resolution to the problem and end very shortly.... But there will be more than enough to deal with in the sequel ;)

I know! The next story will be Bastila and Canderous! Dum DA DUM! ;)

Revan – Revan!? eyes bulge Don't blame me! I didn't put you through all that! And look, I gave you Carth for... well... at the very least for a bit! Not my fault! (thanks for the review ;))

Arrow – Well, umm... to be honest I'd gone back and read the last chapter, written a chapter, was /just/ about to post when I realized 'Wait a sec. They were heading to Manaan, weren't they? Noooo!' Sooo... back in, quick re-write, Revan decides to go to the Jedi temple on her own while Carth is asleep. nods and shifts her weight guiltily After that, I went back and reread the whole story so I'd not miss another plot point :) I'm glad you loved the chapter!

.. I liked the tickling and the innuendos myself, but... :)

Thanks for reviewin!


	23. Chapter 22

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about

This is a sequal to "Things Left Behind" which is a sequel to "Unbalanced" and "There is no Peace but Passion". They are only connected through time, one can definitely be read without the other.

Remnants -

Quiet.

They'd escorted her to a room. Almost like her old room, but without the presence of her master just a door away. The walls were blues and purples and the floor was covered in a very pretty, very old rug. Just a room. Its door unlocked unless she wished to deny the outside world entrance.

They'd left her alone.

She could have gone back to the Ebon Hawk, she supposed. But she didn't want to. Carth … would be returning there and she wasn't ready to think about him right now. The ache that was ever present without even consciously thinking about him was almost more than she could bear already.

The pieces had been laid out precisely for her. Like walls rising up from the ground, enclosing her in a labyrinth that seemed to hold a hundred choices but in actuality only led her to one door.

It was simple. She was the Jedi Revan, with Revan's flaws. Unless she dedicated herself even more than Revan had, she would fall, again.

She hadn't wanted to admit that. But in a way, acknowledging it was almost… liberating. They hadn't twisted her like putty into a new shape. They hadn't utterly destroyed Revan and made her an intruder in a ghost's body. She was Revan.

And that was the problem.

"While training you as a Jedi no doubt helped save the Republic from Malak, it should not have happened. Your abilities in the Force should have remained a closed door to you."

To strip her of the Force would have been acceptable. She had no idea how it would feel to her, to lose this awareness of life. But, she'd lived, or remembered living, a life time without it before. She could do it again, she was certain. Gladly.

"That is not possible in the way you are thinking. You are too strong. While we could collectively strip you of the Force, the ramifications to you would be…. Unacceptable. Your mind would not survive."

"You have a choice."

Jedi Revan.

Jaia.

"You were never meant to return to the Jedi. Jaia was to never be trained, never remember her training, and thus live out her life to follow the light or dark as she saw fit."

She could be Jedi Revan.

Or they could make her Jaia again.

Forget her training. Forget that the name Revan ever meant anything other than some distant figure. Forget that the Jedi were anything more to her than vaguely enigmatic do-gooders who followed a path that she could not understand, but could have mild respect for.

"But, Masters." Juhani had, in all innocence, shed stark light on the path, "Even if you make her forget the training, there were the months of using the Force that…."

"There are also the months of her using the Force to be forgotten, and prudence would demand that she should not remember the visions she shared with Bastila, as they are clues that again would simply lead her back."

Jaia, without the memories of her experiences with those few people she had come to call friends. Without the memory of Carth. Of everything they'd been though. Of everything he was, and was to her.

Or  
Revan. Dedicated. Concentrating only on the light, obeying the Council's will implicitly. Fighting every impulse, every burst of emotion, ever longing, every… thought that might lead her back down the Dark path and wrestling it into a Jedi approved niche in her mind. Every thought. Including those of Carth.

Everything that she could break in this little purple and blue room had been broken. The bed lay in scattered pieces. The rug had been shredded. But her rage could not last forever. It could not hold the silence, and its soft realities, away for nearly long enough.

Now there was nothing left but the path ahead of her. Because, in the end, there really had been no choice at all.


	24. Chapter 23

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about

This is a sequal to "Things Left Behind" which is a sequel to "Unbalanced" and "There is no Peace but Passion". They are only connected through time, one can definitely be read without the other.

Remnants –

"Commander?"

He'd been following Revan out of the Council chambers when the hail hooked out and caught him deftly by the arm. He looked back over his shoulder at the circular room of still Jedi questioningly, and then ahead to where Revan continued walking with Juhani at her side.

"The Padawan needs time to think. Probably by herself. But we will not keep you long if you wish to join her."

"I have nothing to say to you." Carth returned, tone carefully controlled. He was a representative of the Fleet. He was an Officer and not some hotheaded recruit, and he knew when a display of anger would be beneficial and when it would not.

But, he still wanted to yell and cram all the reasons they were wrong down their smug sanctimonious throats…

"But we have things that need to be said to you," was the peaceful response. "Stay, just for a moment."

Carth struggled and then turned fully to face them. "Alright. Talk. Quickly."

Predictably, there was a moment of silence.

One of the Masters spoke, "We understand that the situation with Padawan Revan is difficult. But it is the situation. The Padawan has, understandably, wanted to run from this inevitability. She has, with your help, come back to face it. It would be a mistake to encourage her to run again."

"The only thing that I'm going to encourage Revan to do is what is right for her." Carth's voice remained tight. "Not for you. Not for the council. But for her. /Someone/ needs to look out for that."

The implied accusation did not disturb. "And what about you?"

Carth paused, "What?"

A Master with dark eyes leaned forward, ever so slightly, "You are not telling us everything about the woman who called herself Alayne."

"Yeah? Well, I'm telling you enough, I think. She came aboard pretending to want to help. She tried to use her Jedi mind tricks to make me shoot at Revan when we finally did track her down. It didn't work. Maybe you should be concentrating more on her, you know? On who wants Revan dead and can find out so much information about what's happened behind these supposedly secure walls."

"We have that situation under control, Commander. You are certain that is all? All that Alayne did while she was with you?"

"Yes," Carth said shortly. "Don't you think it was enough?"

He turned and walked out without another word. It was only after he'd walked a good four yards down the now deserted hall that he allowed himself to dig his nails viciously into his arm.

As if erasing the sensation of a small hand delicately touching.


	25. Chapter 24

Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters, the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all bothered about

This is a sequal to "Things Left Behind" which is a sequel to "Unbalanced" and "There is no Peace but Passion". They are only connected through time, one can definitely be read without the other.

Remnants –

Night fell. However, out on the landing pad the Ebon Hawk was still surrounded by light. No longer the glitter of the sun, but the glitter of hundreds of windows lit from the inside of the omnipresent buildings and signs bearing marketing slogans to a willing public. All bathed the hull and the man sitting just outside the airlock.

It was night and Revan still had not returned.

Carth had set a deadline. A point in time that he would wait until before he allowed himself to take action. He even counted it down to the last moments as he prepared for the eventuality. He'd left a message to automatically send itself to Command if he did not return to countermand it and not only were his customary pistols at his hip, but a third was tucked in his jacket, just in case.

He was going to find Revan and not letting anything stand in his way was not so much a decision as a fact.

He entered the temple grounds, steps echoing. He'd gotten to the first turn in the hallway when a young Jedi approached from a side room. The robed man moved quickly, but unobtrusively, to stand in the hallway.

"Commander, can I help you?"

"You can. Take me to Revan, now."

The Jedi offered an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, Commander. But it is not our custom to disturb or allow disturbances to come to people who have sequestered themselves."

"And it is not my custom to let people get in my way." Carth's expression was stone, "You can either take me to Revan or I'm searching every room in this damn temple until I find her."

"It is," the Jedi's smile widened a little in an attempt to share humor, "a very big temple."

"And I am a very determined man." Carth was unmoved. "Now move."

"If you'd like, I can give you a tour, certainly, but…"

"I told you to move."

"I think you may wish to calm, down, Commander. No one is keeping Revan against her will. You don't want to…" The Jedi began, raising his hand and beginning to gesture, ever so delicately to the side.

In an instant, pistols were drawn, unerringly aimed.

"I. Wouldn't." Carth grated at the Jedi.

The young Knight's hand did freeze in mid air. His amiable expression settled into alertness, a shift of his weight preparing to motion.

Fingers tightened on the triggers, long skill bringing them within a hairs breath of firing pressure.

"That's enough." A woman's voice, crisp and authoritative, broke across the corridor.

The Jedi turned and then inclined his head in acknowledgement. "The… Commander is rather forceful in expressing his wishes. Even when they are not wishes that should be acceded."

"Yes, I know." The woman's steps echoed on the floor. "Carth, that's enough. Lower the guns. You are a guest here, or have you forgotten?"

Very slowly, Carth lowered the pistols and then jammed them back in their holsters. His eyes, openly hostile now, did not leave the young Knight, however. "I haven't forgotten. Have the Jedi?"

"Knight Matti, you may leave. I have the situation under control." The woman ordered, and then came to stand by Carth. She studied him for a moment, "You look horrible."

"And you look as lovely as ever." Carth finally turned his gaze away from the departing Knight to look at the woman now standing at his side. His jaw tightened again, "I arrived with Revan, earlier today. She didn't fall. When she left. She didn't fall to the Dark Side."

"I know." Bastila said. "I know."

There was something different and both of them recognized it in the other. Carth saw faint lines around Bastila's mouth where there had not been before. And while he wondered what had caused them, there were more important queries on his mind. "Are you going to take me to her, or not?"

Bastila's brow furrowed as she measured the changes in her companion as well. The only hint to what she found was given in the thoughtfulness of her tone. "Yes," she said slowly, then repeated, "Yes. I will. Provided you can behave yourself." She began walking down the hall.

"Behave myself?"

"Yes." Bastila said simply. Carth fell in line beside her. "Revan has had some hard decisions to make today. As I'm sure you know." Her eyes slide over briefly, then returned to the hall ahead, "She's finally brought herself to make them and she needs your support now. Not an argument."

"She's… decided?"

"Yes. Well, I'd imagine that this is one of those things that does not become more clear the more its thought on. I went to visit her about two hours ago and conveyed her wishes to the Council."

Carth fell silent. He didn't know if he could have spoken anything beyond a dull repeat of Bastila's words, even if he wanted to. He hadn't known that she was in trouble. But he'd been willing to fight his way to her if she was. He hadn't known what he could say to her, would say to her, to try and help. Because, in truth, he didn't know himself what to think or feel. But, he'd of done anything to be there.

He always wanted to be there. He thought that she might have needed a little time, but..

But…

She'd made her choices.

Without him.

… and perhaps that meant that… that was her choice.

They walked.

Silence rushed in the wake left by Bastila's words. And she did not stop it.

_-authors notes-_

_For some reason I could not get page breaks to format so, against my preference, had to chop this up into chapters. Sorry for the shorties, but at least there are a few of them :)_

_Happy Holidays, all! Again, I know I had a huge delay. I had written out the next chapter literally within days of the last posting. And while that chapter seemed okay, somehow, nothing flowed from it. Everything I tried to follow it up with fell flat. So I scrapped it. I almost even scrapped my last posting but… I'm seeing if this will hold._

_And, in truth, I've got some issues about this posting :) Almost didn't want to publish it, but perhaps I'm being too silly. So, if you feel led to review? Let me know what you thought :)_

_Firera – Dum Da DUM! The choice has been revealed. Now, which one do you think she'll choose, mmm?_

_Schally - Thanks! And I do believe that Cand/Basti is going to be my next project._

_Ether-fanfic - Phew! I was worried that the not-naming came across as a too obvious device to keep me from having to do my research ;)_

_Sammie teufel – (grins) And why do I think that you likely don't feel any better about the traitor now? At least, not if I wrote it right ;)_

_Arrow – (smiles) Thanks. Well, even though Revan and Carth have decided to actually let each other know what they think, that doesn't mean that all is perfect. Or that their fears can't be played off of by others. (nods) And I always felt bad for everyone calling the character Revan all the time. Like who she was before she remembered wasn't important. At the same time, I couldn't think that the Council would be so actively cruel, or stupid, to make a Smuggler and then try to make her fit back into the Jedi. Soo… this was my explaination :) And I have to admit, Jolee is my favorite coot ;) He should run the Council!_


	26. Chapter 25

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.

Remnants

* * *

It didn't take long for them to walk through to the hallways dedicated to giving the Jedi a place to sleep and sometimes call home. 

"Revan?" Bastila had stopped in front of a specific door and was calling even as she knocked. Carth's suspicion that she wanted to warn the other Jedi about what would await her if the door was opened was confirmed by Bastila's addition. "Carth is here to speak with you."

"Come in."

Revan was crouched by the far wall, picking up the shattered remains of pottery from the floor. Bastila entered, but did not cross the entire distance. Instead she stepped to the side so as to not block Carth or his view. "The Council is preparing. It shouldn't take more than a few hours." She began, but then her crisp tone faltered just slightly, "Would you like for me to let Juhani and Jolee …?"

Revan shook her head, "No," her tone was regretful but certain, "They may hate me for not letting them say goodbye but its likely better this way. Someone," she looked up and focused on Bastila alone. "You will make sure that they know, correct? Canderous and Mission as well?"

"I will." Bastila promised.

Revan licked her lips briefly and nodded. She stood and began placing the pieces on a nearby table, one by one. "Thank you, Bastila. For everything you've done."

Bastila started to say something but then her jaw tightened. "You are welcome. And, while I don't often say it, I do owe you a debt as well. While… sharing so much with each other was not always pleasant, I… it taught me a great deal. I am not the same person I was and I have you to thank for it."

Revan smiled grimly, "Careful, Bastila. You realize that could mean either something very good or something very bad."

The Knight stiffened. "I was not trying to joke. Just to let you know that I am grateful to have known you."

"Sorry. I just…" Revan had the grace to look abashed. She inhaled and met Bastila's gaze for a long moment. And even though neither of them moved, it felt like the distance between them had lessened to something insignificant.

Bastila nodded even though no question had been asked. Her voice became almost gentle, "I will watch out for things. I promise you. And I will make sure he is safe and whole."

Revan inhaled and nodded, her gaze remaining locked in that communication. "Thank you, Bastila." A faint smile, "I'll see you later."

Bastila nodded gravely, "You will." Then she turned, breaking the still moment and exiting without a further word. The door shut behind her and for long moments Carth remained silent.

Just as he remained near the door and Revan remained by the wall, not looking at him.

"A few hours?" he said finally.

"Yes. The Council thought it would be better to get things taken care of quickly." Revan said softly. The pottery shards clinked slightly as she began laying them down again.

"Yeah. They would. Because of course you are going to turn into a monster if you don't do this right away and taking some time to sit on some beach somewhere and think wouldn't help you get a better perspective on what they are telling you to choose."

"No, it wouldn't." Revan said steadily, refusing to be drawn to the bait. Carth's eyes narrowed at how easy the response seemed to have come.

"Then maybe just to get a few weeks away to be with me," he said flatly. "Yeah, its just more things for you to forget but I might like the memories."

She winced, "Please don't. Just don't," she swallowed, "You know I'd want that. But, can you honestly say that we'd ever get out from under what … what would be coming? That it wouldn't color everything?" she looked at him, searching, "And you'd be trying to get me to change my mind every moment. I don't need to fight about this, Carth. Its difficult enough as it is."

"Maybe its difficult for a reason." Carth stepped forward, closing the distance, "Revan, you were terrified that they were going to do something to you. To take away your memories. Well, I hate to say it but that's what they are doing. Can you honestly tell me that you know for sure that the Council isn't manipulating you? Doing some Force Persuasion thing to make you believe that this is the only way?"

That startled her and her eyes widened. For a moment he almost thought he'd proved his point. That she was going to listen and at least let him in enough to go over the things the Council said to her again.

Her head tilted just a little and her gaze went abstracted, as if examining the possibility. But she was shaking her head within moments. "No. I'd know if it was." He snorted and she raised her hand slightly, insisting, "Its not easy to explain, but I would know. The temple has a peace about it. Its almost smothering at times and that's part of what I could never settle with. But this… what the council says feels right. This decision feels right. Everything you were afraid of, Carth. Everything that it took you so long to get around that I might become… this takes care of it," her tone was earnest now.

"Nice. And it takes care of us as well." Carth said, jaw tight.

"No!" Revan laughed a breath and crossed the room towards him, quickly. "Is that what you are worried about? Carth, no. Look, I remember where I was before I was recruited to the Endar Spire. Nar Shadda in a little hovel. That's where I'll be." She didn't seem to think he was understanding and she smiled wider as she elaborated, "Carth, I'll still be me. Just come. Come find me and everything will be fine," her lips twitched upwards in humor, "Unless you aren't interested in romancing me again?"

"You really think it will be that easy?" Carth reached for her hands and gripped them tightly, "Revan, what we have… this came out of very specific circumstances."

The humor slowly fled from her face, "Everything comes out of specific circumstances. What do you mean? Are you saying that you only care about me because of what we went through?"

"No. But, think about it. From the moment we met we had each other's lives in our hands. My first impressions of you, your first impressions of me. Everything that we went through forced us to trust each other and those initial weeks on Taris where it was simply us. Those aren't things we can duplicate."

"And who says we have to? Its still you and me, Carth. Unless you think that isn't enough?" Revan was still trying to keep the smile, though it was almost painful now, "Or is the prospect of me without the force just not interesting enough for you…"

"You know that has nothing to do with it." Carth said flatly.

"Then I don't understand!" Revan pulled away, "Why are you making this so complicated? I love you," she exhaled, "I've loved you since the first time you told me that you didn't want to talk to me…"

"You loved the challenge in front of you." Carth's voice cut through the attempt to lighten. "And then, through working through that, you came to love me. But are you going to love me when I'm going to want to tell you everything? From the beginning? Because I'm tired of keeping secrets. I'm tired of not telling you what I'm thinking. I've missed you.."

"And I've missed you," she tried.

"But you won't. And I'm not that good of an actor. Jedi or not, you read people, Revan Take yourself back to the person that you were and tell me how you would have reacted to a strange man coming up to you at a bar, offering to buy you a drink. A man who obviously wants you. A man who seems to care about you a lot more than a five minute conversation could account for. Don't tell me that wouldn't make you uncomfortable. It would make anyone uncomfortable. Relationships… they get built on an equality of need. Equality of trust. And there won't be that for us."

Revan shook her head stubbornly, "First off, that doesn't have to be true. And secondly, And are you saying that you are incapable of carrying a decent conversation with me without acting like a love sick puppy?"

"No." Carth's voice was slightly raw, "But I might be incapable of carrying a conversation with you at first without it being obvious that I'm looking for you, Revan. That I love you and that I'm trying desperately to see if there's anything left of that in your face…"

And now there was fear flickering across her expression. He felt vaguely vindicated by this, even though his stomach clenched sickeningly as well.

Revan's eyes narrowed in anger, fighting back the newly placed doubts. She reached up to rest one hand on his shoulder, the other on the back of his neck, "No. Its going to be alright. Because it wasn't the challenge of getting to know you that I fell in love with. It was the way you called me beautiful without even thinking, it was the way you… you still fought. Still struggled to keep moving, keep going, no matter how badly you'd been hurt. And you didn't run from anything. And you needed me then, too. I felt that. You just didn't know it yet. And I needed you. I have /always/ needed you. I will need you and I will love you because we won't have changed," her voice broke on the untouched rawness in his eyes, "Carth… please. We won't have changed…"

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. Her arms wrapped around him instantly.

"I love you," he said quietly.

But he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. And when she whispered back that she loved him as well, and started to say more, he dipped his head and kissed her fiercely, cutting off anything more. Any more determination, any more protests, any more certainty.

Nothing had changed. He was losing her and a million things could prevent the story from giving the happy ending Revan was so determinedly clinging to.

But if she could find the strength to lie to herself about it, who was he to take away that comfort?

* * *

Okay – doing my best to drag this to the finish line. I apologize for not having specific answers to reviews, but I'm not at a place where I can read them. Know for certain that it's the reviews that keep me going, though. Everyone of them is greatly appreciated. 


	27. Chapter 26

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.

Remnants

* * *

It was peaceful. The ceiling high windows looked out both on the gardens and the city in turn. The sky was blazing with the sun for a time. Bright and shining. Then the lurid reds and oranges began to creep across. Their fingers brushed, touched, and just barely made themselves known before the building lights began to ignite. Reflected off the cloud cover, they shone and it barely seemed as if night had come. Ship lights danced and twirled. 

She exhaled and moved her face slightly so that it rubbed against the material of Carth's shirt. His arm was warm around her shoulders. She liked feeling its weight there. Solid. Just as she liked being able to hear his heart beating underneath her ear. The feeling of him surrounded her. The scent of him and the sound of his breathing. She tried to concentrate on that, on the way he had leaned his head down to rest atop hers. To concentrate on those things, rather than how her hair was being slowly dampened underneath his eyes and how his hand around hers, tightened almost painfully and held close by her to her chest, was likewise being made wet by tears, these ones hers.

And to a great degree, she was able to do so. She took these things and made them her world, shutting out the presence of the Masters in the background, sitting at various spots around the room as they silent meditated. She forgot they were there, because all there was that mattered was her and Carth.

Until she forgot him too.

* * *

They allowed him to remain with her for quite a while. She was sleeping deeply and they'd already taken steps to make sure that she wouldn't wake. But, when they brought in the gurney to take her to the ship, departure already waiting, he refused to let her go. He didn't deign to explain himself. He simply stood, sucked in a breath of pain for muscles long gone stiff and cramping, and picked her up. He carried her to the ship, flanked by three of the Jedi. Like an honor guard. By mute agreement, no one else followed, not even the Masters, as the four walked to the landing pad boarded the ship. Only her friends were there to truly see her off. 

Privately, they expected that Carth might linger on the ship as well. But his motions were crisp. Once Jaia was set in bed and the blanket drawn up he turned on his heel and exited abruptly. The way he walked, it seemed like he might not remain on the pad to see the ship leave either. But as the first thruster driven wind ruffled his hair, he looked over his shoulder and stopped.

"It is for the best." Bastila said softly. "She is safer now. She'll be happier now."

"Perhaps it is for the best," Juhani's voice was slightly rough, "But that does not mean it is easy."

Jolee clasped Carth on the shoulder lightly, "Come on, son. Let's go find you a spot to unwind a little."

The two men started off towards the streets, Jolee subtly leading. It didn't take a Jedi to realize that the Temple wasn't the most comforting place right now. Carth walked, motions controlled, eyes fixed ahead.

Juhani remained behind, eyeing the sky and losing herself in her thoughts. Bastila hesitated, but her hurried steps followed quickly after Carth and Jolee.  
"Carth? You realize that you can't …. She can't ever know about what has happened, correct? If she knows, then there is a chance she might try to bring the memories of her training back. Or to try to use the Force again without that training. That can't be all…"

"I know the stakes, Bastila." Carth said tightly, without turning around. The words were nearly a whisper.

"Do you? Listen, I know that I…"

"Enough, Bastila." Jolee said. "You've said enough…" His tone held a warning edge.

And they left her behind, her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes dark.

THE END

* * *

And yes, technically it is. The rest of the story would be an epilogue which is coming soon :) 

Firera – Yeah, she's just not going to be able to leave that behind so easily :) And while I can't guarantee that I will have the motivation to pick up what's going on with Bastila… oh yes, she's a complicating little factor ;) Thank you for reviewing! I really appreciate it.

Arrow – Well, the way I'm thinking? Happiness went poofie when she realized she was Revan. There was bitterness, regret, and guilt that I didn't think she'd ever get over. So part of her is very willing to believe that forgetting that revelation would be a great thing. She thinks of herself as Jaia. Not Revan. Of course, she's being a bit naïve about what it might mean and asking a heck of a lot from Carth but – self delusion is the easiest type of delusion ;) I've got the rough of the next chapter written, but am not sure how it flows. So, should be able to have it out soonish for you. Thank you so much for continuing to renew. Keeps me motivated to write and finish :)

Schmoopy – I know you reviewed back a bit, but… felt bad cause I wasn't able to answer until now. Thanks for the support! Hopefully its still unfolding with the same tension and strength. :)

Brynn – Again, I know you reviewed earlier – but…. And yeah. That was one of the things I was most worried about. Was the case for an 'either or' sufficiently established. I hope that in the conversation with Carth there are hints why she's so willing to say 'this or that' rather than take the alternatives that are obviously available. She thinks it will be easy. She doesn't see the Force as something it will pain her too much to lose and she doesn't really think she'll be losing anything else. Just a few memories, after all. And memories can be remade. Thank you for your input!


	28. Epilogue

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.

Remnants

* * *

Life sucked. 

Or perhaps it had just been the past few months, Jaia allowed as she stared at the corner seat of the bar and its occupant.

But it'd all started far from here anyway, so she couldn't really blame this water logged place. Or the bar. Or the moron in her seat.

Her poor ship. Her lovely little ship, the Sereph, had blown out its last legs, leaving her stranded on Nar Shadda. And that was good. Because if there was anywhere in the universe she'd want to be stranded while trying to find a new ship and a new job to put a little money in her pocket, she'd choose Nar Shadda. After all, she had some very nice contacts there. She was owed favors. And her reputation would certainly open doors, after all. A smuggler of her caliber was worth something – in the right circles.

Or so you'd think. She'd gone to her old friend Yue Danter's house. The hulking man had lived in that same little hollow ever since she first met him, nearly eight years previous. But now, there was some old woman answering the door. No Yue Danter here, thank you very much. Slam.

It'd taken her aback. She'd stared at the door for a moment and then braced herself to break the silly thing open if Grandma wouldn't open up again. But then a Twi'lek girl, not quite a kid but not an adult either, had gotten her attention from across the way.

"The guy you are looking for is gone," the girl had stated, looking a bit nervous. "But if you are looking for someone who can help you on Nar Shadda, I know a few people."

As long as it wasn't the Hutt. She did not want to be dealing with Vogga in any way shape or form. Still…

"And you'll tell me about this person out of the kindness of your heart?" She'd raised her brow skeptically.

The girl just looked at her for a few minutes, then smiled shyly. "Well, its not like I'd say no to a little money. But I was thinking more like, you'd let me call you if I ended up needing you? It'd be like… a favor owed?"

Wonderful. A favor? "Alright, kid. Feed me the info and I'll owe you one."

The girl was grinning now, the expression rather charming in its glee.

'Yep,' Jaia had thought to herself, 'I am such an easy mark.' The fact that she also did give the kid a little of the credits she was hording proved it too.

So the girl had given her a name and a place. A local bar with a fairly decent reputation. But, before she left, she'd also darted in and given her a quick hug as well. Jaia was checking her pockets, her weapons, her clothing for a good fifteen minutes after. Wary of some sort of tracking device too small to be seen, she'd even gone back to her apartment to wash and change clothing.

It was Nar Shadda after all.

Once at the bar she'd waited and found that they were watering down their alcohol horribly. That was, in her opinion, a sign of a truly bad bar. She could care less about the clientel, if the alcohol was watered down… not worth a second look.

Luckily, her contact hadn't taken long to show up. The man was older, hair whitened in contrast to his dark skin. He'd snuck up on her, something that didn't make her feel at ease though he'd apologized. When she wasn't mollified he grumped at her. And that'd made her grin and more inclined to talk.

"Jolee Bindo," he'd introduced himself. He already seemed to know her name. "Your friend Yue got himself into a little trouble. Local. But he'd heard rumors that you might be looking for some help with your ship and all asked me to see what I could do."

Jaia had sipped her drink in a ploy for a little thinking time. "So you are a friend of his?"

"More like an associate." Bindo revised. "But its close enough."

Jaia had nodded a little, "Then, you'll know that phrase he was always repeating? When things would not quite go right?"

Jolee winced, "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

Jaia shrugged, but didn't relent.

Then the old man surprised her. The long string of Syabian cursing was both fluid, accurate, and actually had more of a sting to it than Yue had ever managed to give it. Plus, he didn't even hesitate once in the thirty seconds it took to recite it. She was laughing by the end.

"Now, if we're done making me jump through hoops, young lady?"

Jaia had to agree at that point that Yue sent him. "So, what," she'd asked, "exactly are you going to do to help me?"

And Jolee smiled, though his dark eyes were as sober as a man making a vow. "That means, my friend, I'm getting you a ship."

It had been enough to make anyone believe that some cosmical force or deity was smiling on them. And the way things went, it only seemed that her good luck would continue. Jolee had taken her to the ship almost right away. A little bargaining, a little haggling. Jolee said that the only catch was that he, and a group of people he representated, may contact her for jobs occasionally. Not much of a draw back, as far as she could see.

And yes, even at the time she was aware that it all seemed to good to be true. But beggers couldn't be choosers and she was down on her knees for certain.

She'd felt all… disconnected. Like, without her ship, nothing in the universe was right. She was not used to feeling so alone or vulnerable. She had figured that part of it had to deal with Yue, disappeared without a trace. Everything now had seemed unfamiliar, unfamiliar without the buffer of her ship.

She would have agreed to much more than Jolee was asking.

So, she'd taken possession of the ship. She figured that one of Jolee's unspoken little consortium had to be the Cathar woman that was shadowing them as they did a joint inspection of the beauty. And the scent of fur in the engine room spoke eloquently of former owners. She wasn't the fastest, nor the biggest. A three person crew at most, she'd bet. But the little ship was sweet in design and lines. What her name was, Jaia hadn't cared. She'd dubbed her new home, partner and companion the 'Asylum' and never looked back.

Time had passed and she'd taken the jobs as they came. The recent wars seemed to have done more damage in their last mysterious days than anyone would have guessed. Almost all her contacts had blown up and dried away. That left the legitimate deals for the most part. With all the relief efforts and reconstruction, there'd been no problem finding a group who'd pay.

But it must have been the lack of that extra edge of excitement, just slipping by the authorities, just evading getting taken out by a peevish syndicate boss for haggling too strictly… because she'd still felt like she was missing something. Just a little hollow… Even the financial success that allowed her to purchase an astro-mech droid after a couple months didn't thrill her as much as she had thought it would.

She'd bought it on Manaan and after settling it on the ship, had gone promptly to the closest bar. That was the one thing she could say about the water world, it did have a decent set up in that regard.

The room had been packed, filled with both locals and travelers. Still, it was no worry to find a seat and a nice ubiquitous blonde man to talk and flirt a little with. He was a bit dense, but he was diverting enough at any rate.

"…shouldn't be here…" The crisp female voice hadn't cut through the babble in the bar. It wasn't loud, in fact it was lowered. Yet for some reason it'd caught her attention almost right away. She'd shimmied a little to be able to look at the door to the bar and still pretend to be paying attention to Tall, Dumb, but Handsome.

The woman at the door had been a Jedi. Which had made it strange that she appeared to be arguing with a man much too old to be her Padawan. He was military, if Jaia hadn't missed her guess.

"… being hypocritical…" He'd been fairly good looking and he spoke quietly. He glanced in her direction but she'd reacted in time. Her lips curved as she pretended attentiveness to her companion.

"…doesn't need you." The woman's voice again. Somehow her words had become easier to pick out even though she'd dropped the anger for a moment in favor of …pity? "She's moved on and she's happy. Isn't that what you wanted for her?"

About that time, Jaia got bored. The situation was painfully obvious. A jilted lover, stalking his former romantic interest and nosing in where he wasn't wanted. She'd been sure that if his friend hadn't been a Jedi, the words 'get over it' would have been said. Likely with an accompanying smack. By the time she decided to glance over again, they were both gone.

And by the time she'd prepped her ship for take off, heading out to the next job, next stop, next run, she'd forgotten about the incident completely.

But then, of course, the right thruster capacitor had broken, just out from the planet. She'd limped back in, taking nearly two days to cover the distance. And that left her here. Now. Angry at the fact that it'd broken, furious at the bantha faced customer who'd be docking her pay for the delay, and wanting only one simple thing.

To be able to drink in peace in her nice little corner table at the bar.

And it was already occupied.

Her eyes narrowed.

Occupied by the jilted whiny man from the other night no less. He was sitting alone, looking intently at the half filled glass in front of him.

Jaia hesitated, debating briefly. She could run a scam to get him to move his backside. She could threaten him to move said backside as well. But, with a sudden let down like a balloon deflating, she found that most of the energy her anger had given her was gone.

He didn't look that whiny, really. He looked like… she wasn't sure. Just very sad, she supposed.

She exhaled and damned mostly dormant maternal instincts and boyishlyappealing faces. Yes, she was certainly an easy mark. Damn it.

Drink in hand she walked over to the table and sat down, without saying a word. She didn't look directly at him, giving only her profile at first and setting up the unspoken subtext that she didn't /need/ to command his attention with words or gestures. It also was certain to leave him off balance and… even kindly motivated gestures were better if you had the power in the game, after all. He could turn out to be an ass.

She did smile as she spoke, "You look like someone has shot your favorite pet, my friend."

/Then/ she glanced at him.

He was staring at her. She grinned.

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. Poor Fluffy. He was too young and good for the world, I guess."

She laughed, facing him fully now. A sense of humor? Now she felt a bit better about the encounter. "Isn't that always the way?" She raised her glass, "To Fluffy then."

He followed suit and drank but didn't take his wary gaze off of her. He also didn't speak again.

She sighed, "Come on. Look. This is the deal. Neither of us are very pleased at the moment. So you can either mope here all alone, or…"

"Or?"

Her most charming smile, "Or, you can buy me another drink and enjoy mildly interesting conversation as well as my absolutely wonderful company." Self mockery to invoke a response was not below her and she bobbed her eyebrows meaningfully as well.

But he didn't respond in the way she thought he would. A laugh, a grin, or a smile and a polite, 'please leave' would have all been in character. Not the sudden… barrenness in his eyes. Loss. So stark and open that it clenched her own gut in empathy.

He looked away sharply and she was reaching out to touch his hand on the table without consciously deciding to do so. Just a touch. Not forcing likely inadequate comfort, but still compelled to make the gesture.

"Hey," she said, quieter, "I'm sorry. I can leave, no problem. I just thought that you might need …well. You looked like you might need someone to talk to. And if not that, a distraction."

His lips unbent a little, "And you decided to volenteeer?"

She raised her chin, "Hey, it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it, eh?" She was drawing her hand back to her own drink. "I was bored, after all."

He smiled tightly, ruefully, but again was quiet. She'd give it one last try.

"You're a Republic solider, right?"

"Got it in one, gorgeous." He was making his tone more even, now.

She couldn't help but chuckle at that, "Gorgeous? I like that."

"Somehow I thought you might." He reached out for his drink again, and looked back at her. "So…"

She was still amused, but her expression gentled a little, "So." She repeated. She extended her hand, "Jaia Sin."

His fingers were warm.

"Carth Onasi."

* * *


	29. After the Credits Have Rolled

Standard Disclaimer - The characters and universe mainly belong to George Lucas. Something I know that we all are very sad about. However, I do claim this particular take on Revan and the events that happened next.

Remnants

* * *

you don't remember me but i remember you 

i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you

but who can decide what they dream?

and dream i do...

i believe in you

i'll give up everything just to find you

i have to be with you to live to breathe

you're taking over me

have you forgotten all i know

and all we had?

you saw me mourning my love for you

and touched my hand

i knew you loved me then

i believe in you

i'll give up everything just to find you

i have to be with you to live to breathe

you're taking over me

i look in the mirror and see your face

if i look deep enough

so many things inside that are just like you are taking over

-Taking Over Me

Evanescence

* * *

Stars wheeled. 

On Manaan, two strangers spoke.

On Corescant, an Cathar Jedi furrowed her brow for the scent that the wind suddenly carried.

And on Korriban a dark haired woman swept in through stone halls. Lines of weariness had etched around her eyes, but her lips are set sternly. The genuflection she performs for the woman on her throne is graceful.

"My Master. I have done as you asked. Revan is no more."

"Good. Very good."

The dark haired woman does not look up. She waits, anticipation skittering over her skin. Patience.

Peace.

"Come here, my Apprentice." The command finally comes.

Bastila does not bother to hide her smile as she hurries to the throne.

* * *

Alright. I should have left well enough alone. But the rules do state that no extra chapters just for author's notes. And I could not /not/ respond when people took the time to review. And, honestly, the lyrics were supposed to go with the epilogue anyway! So... 

Arrow – Hopefully it fullfilled your sad and depressing as well as potentially hopeful cravings. Thank you so much for reviewing as much as you have. It really did help me keep going!

Prisoner 24601 – Thanks for reviewing! I had problems with that description of them both crying at first, I'm glad it worked out. And I hope that the epilogue lived up to what you'd expected :)

Renegade42 – I'm glad you like the fiction! Epilogue delivered, as per your request. :)

Firera - I appreciate the reviews! And yes, I agree about the ending being a little abrupt. I felt like going through the actual goodbyes or more deliberation would cut the pace too much, though. Wasn't sure how to balance it in time to keep up with the sudden return of my muse :) So... hopefully the epilogue balances it decent. Thanks for that honest feedback. Oh! And Dustil was killed on Korriban. Revan tried to stay out of the situation, so he died. And, Carth has finally come to terms with the realization that Dustil had some responsibility in his own death as well :)

Schally – You are more than welcome. Thank you for reading it! Been a long time getting finished, but finally done. :)

Tarasque – I really appreciate that you took the time to review as much as you did! And if you ever read the book version of 'Princess Bride' you might catch where I was pulling the ending from. Its a matter of the reader being able to find the ending that they want. Romantic, realist, cynic – the possibilities are there for all of them. And it had always caught me how the game kept going after Revan found out who she was. They allowed you to choose the 'I'm not Revan option' for a while, but they never let that option be an indication of Revan's self delusion. It was always Revan trying to lie. Which I thought was kind of interesting :) And it is a matter of opinion on whether this was the right choice for her or not.

And heaven knows how KOTOR II works into it! Poor Exile is going to be on her/his own! ;)

But again, thank you (to everyone who read it). The huge gap between start and finish kind of shows you how I'd lost a bit of inspiration for it. Thanks for letting me know that it was worth finishing and that you enjoyed it.


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